Monday, June 05, 2006

Monday, June 5, Wake Up

Am I breathing in, breathing out, or between breaths, or holding my breaths? When I am aware of that, I am on my way to being awake. This is a nice feeling, one I can have right now, and so can you.

How is my lower back shaped? This is a funny question, but as I’ve learned to get clearer with my so-called “body,” I’ve learned that the lower spine can be slightly back, and then I’m in a bit of a fold forward, or the lower spine can be slightly arched and then I’m more or less upright. This isn’t a question of “right posture.” Posture is for posts, to quote Moshe Feldenkrais, from whom big gobs of this book will derive. For now though, I like to include a sensation of where my belly is oriented, where my lower back is oriented, in my feeling of waking up. This is part of a larger awareness I enjoy when I remember myself in the present, the awareness of myself in gravity. My spine holds up my head and ribs and shoulders and arms. It does a lot for me against this constant tug of gravity, can I breathe in and know it, breathe out and know it, and know the orientation of my spine in space and feel the tug of gravity on my feet or bottom, or wherever the pull of gravity is coming?

This is a concrete way to join into an endless and wonderful task, the task of being present to our lives, moment by moment, as we are living them. When we speak, are we aware of our speaking? When we walk, are we aware of our walking.? If we open a car door, are we aware of that, and of how we shift into the car? When we open the door to a house or restaurant, are we aware of how we do that? When we pull out a weed? When we sit in a chair? When we rise from sitting in a chair? When we listen, do we listen in the moment or fill our heads with the important things we have to say or our important opinions about what is being said, or just chatter about our plans for the next day?

When we read a book, do we know where our breathing is as we read? Do we feel how we are sitting, how our spines are oriented, where the light on the page is coming from? Are we breathing in or out, right now, or holding our breaths, or are we luxuriating in that space between the breaths. How is our spine holding us up, just now, right now, in this bright and wonderful and only one time now? If we tilt our bellies a little forward, and a little back, can we find a more comfortable shape for ourselves? If we are sitting, can we move our pelvis a little forward and a little back and notice how that feels, a little to the left and a little to the right, enjoying a sense of possibilities. Maybe we can sense the possibility of sitting in a slightly more comfortable and awake manner of sitting, of breathing, or being in our moments.

Hmmm. That might be nice, eh?


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