Mindful gardening, mindful living

This is what I want,
this is what I'll ask
for,
seek to create,
move toward in my life:

Mindful gardening,
Mindful living

And to live:
is to move:
mindful moving

to live
is to love:
mindful loving

to live
is to learn:
mindful learning

to live
is to pray:
mindful praying

Enough

Other People's "Concern"

sometimes,
in the doldrums,
we really like
other people's
"concern"

especially of the sort:
"How are you doing?"

And you answer.
And they listen.

And don't "help."
And don't tell you "it will get better."
And don't argue you out of how
you feel.

Often,
though:
other people's concern
is an excuse to dive deeper
into "Feeling Bad,"
and their agreement to listen
seems to warrant our feeling badly,
and we end up feeling worse,
after their concern.

Gurdjieff, with a penchant for rather
severe automobile accidents,
used to forbid people to visit him
in his sick room
(he wasn't fond of hospitals).

He discovered their "sympathy"
and "worry" and "concern"
made it harder for him to heal.


Think of it this way:
Enlightenment is Loving what is,
and when we are healing,
we can be loving that healing.

The temptation to fall back into self pity
is great,
and other people often push that way.

So:
Marlie and I,
can be cruising along just fine,
enjoying the undoing,
and then other people
think it's a big tragedy,
and I go back that mode:
ohmygod, I'm/ we're doing something
wrong.

Here I need, help, and it’s right here, with
The good old question:
Is it true?
that
"I'm/ we're doing something wrong?"

Don’t think so.
Others might disagree.
Their business, their sweet, their own, business.

good

Staying Here, Now

When I'm somewhere else
that will be my new
Here

At each moment
along the way:
I'll be
Here

Each moment
will be my
Now

It's tricky
and
simple

All at the same
time

Ah, time:
that old trickster:

the seasons change:
that's real

three o'clock
isn't real

"Next month"
is that real?

As an idea,
yes.
As an experience:
not yet.

Actually: never.

A big question:
What is real.

---

My son said
the blog entries
were too long.

Good.
I can listen


Ciao
Chris

Why am I leaving?

Why leaving?

To see
Arcata
Hawaii
Mexico
Austin
Missouri

Who knows what else?

Do discover who I
am
out of my rut.

Do be of use to people
around the
country,
world.

Do learn how to better
be of
use.

To see life
in various
other
shapes
forms
and modes.

To create something new.

To meet new people.

To advance my work.

To be of service.

To sharpen
my life
in the present.

To sweeten
my love of
What Is

For the sake
of Coming to a
New Place

Buddha Prayer

sent by a friend:

My Morning Meditation

May I be well.

May I be safe and protected.

May I find joy in simple pleasures.

May I be filled with loving kindness.

May I be free from fear and danger.

May I be able to protect my happiness.

May I be released from all suffering.

May I take care of myself happily.

May I be peaceful and at ease…just as I am.

May I be free from troubles of body and mind.

May I be happy…right now…just as I am…nothing different.

May I abide in freedom…
…freedom from anger and greed…both mine and that of others.
…freedom from hostility and ill will, both mine and that of others.
…freedom from anxiety and hurtfulness, both mine and that of others.

And may I not be parted from all the good fortune I have already attained.

Liking what "it" doesn't like

Gurdjieff has this very fine
idea
(actually quite a few,
but one good idea can
change
a life,
and this is one of those,
"can change a life"
ideas)

Here it is:
" Like what it doesn't like."

What's "it"?

Our conditioned,
robot,
habitual response,

usual instant but
not intuitively instant,
rather reactive and low level
and over and over and over
and over and over and over
again
instant

That's all.


Went to SonoMa Ashram today
for a long "Puja,"
special fall program:
long,
long,
lots of chanting we do,
lots of praying Babaji does
on and on

My "it" thought of
church boredom
when young,

my "it" body didn't want
to be trapped

my,
this is new, interesting,
what a big and amazing world
me
loved it,
and loved saying, "there, there,
little fellow,"
to my
"it."


...
Who is Gurdjieff?
Awakened rascal,
lived a while back:
2 books fun:
Boyhood with Gurdjieff, by Fritz Peters
and
Meetings with Remarkable Men, by G.I. Gurdjieff

---

Today at 108 days:Undoing with Love
...
I don't know yet.
Check in later.

Okay: here's a related one
to the
"troubles" as my sister thinks,
"endings are bad"

and the "opening"
as I realize,
when living clear and without the story:

My Mom Should be Nicer: Is that True?

What is Love?

What is Love?

When someone wants to have a good
day,
you are happy for their having a good
day.

When they have wound themselves into a
bad day
you offer a lifeline
if they want it
and if they don't,
you are happy that they are having whatever misery
they are stuck in that day.

When someone comes by to see you,
you are happy to see them.
If you want to be alone,
you are happy to see them,
and tell them you want to be alone.
If you want to be with them,
you are happy to be with them.

When someone wants to stay away,
you are happy
that they are doing
whatever they are doing
when they are away.

Harsh
and/ or
amazingly liberating truth:
this includes dead people,
and former mates who decided to leave:
they want to / chose to / somehow in reality
are
away.

If we can love them away,
then our love is vast.

If not,
we suffer.

Okay.

And then: the love
who is going to be away,
sometime later:
the one who is dying,
the lover who is leaving:

can we love them as they
slip away
each day
a juicy delight

and then:
when they are
"gone"
is it true
they are "gone?"

Not from our hearts,
if we want them there.

Can't grab them,
touch them,
talk back and forth face to face
(can talk back and forth in the mind/ heart, long
and sweet
and just right conversations)
and
isn't that their business,
and our business to
love them
just the way
they are
even if it's away.

---

OVER AT 108 DAYS:
UNDOING WITH LOVE AND LEARNING,

doing the
Work
on the belief/ thought/ story
that
I'm going to miss Marlie when we are apart:
Is that true?

five paths, when is hearthbreak heartbreak?

five paths for my
life
and perhaps for my assistance to
you
as well as myself:

Mindfulness

Loving

Serving

Caring for the Earth

Learning


In there comes a yoga beyond yoga,
based on being present
and learning
and kindness to ourselves so that every person
in every class learns how to move more easily
in their everyday life,
not just attempts to get "better" at various poses.

In there:
moving with mindfulness and ease
if ailing in back, shoulders or neck

In there:
moving with more ease
and grace
to dance, walk, ride horses,
garden, do sports,
whatever you love
in a way more pleasing and fun

In there:
learning to talk and be present

In there:
learning to garden and
go about ecological action
in a soft and sweet and
mindful way

In there:
finding the love
inside of so called heartbreak
and learning how far
and wide we can fly
with something far more vast
than the usual "forgiveness"

The self is small
the Big Self is immense

One is the false home
one the real

that's the whole journey
really,
and then sharing, caring
and helping others with the journey

ciao
Chris

..
and today's exploration,
treat,
inquiry
at 108 Days: Undoing a Wonderful Relationship
with Love and Learning is:

Marlie and I are insane to be undoing
something when we are so wonderful and aware
and have such good times a lot:

Is that true?