Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Relationship Heaven.. Talk and listen. A lot

this from a 6 month course, wherein each month the couple goes through ten days of work three times.

This is day twelve.

The phone number will get you me if you happen to want to radically improve your relationship...


Day Twelve

This is going to be talking back and forth.
This is the beginning of a whole new way of communicating.
You stay in your business.
They stay in their business.
You leave any comments, “help,” advice, criticism, interpretation out of the puzzle.
You are going to listen with no plan of responding. They are going to talk about anything but you and anything but the relationship.
You are going to listen.
You are going to talk about anything but
The relationship
What they just talked about.

Three minutes each, back and forth. No feedback. No reflective listening.
Just listening.
JUST listening.
Listening is so rare, and this is listening that isn’t cuing up for our smart advice, or retort, or additional thing to say.
Simply, deeply, fully listen.

This is good.
Back and forth.
Three times.

Eighteen minutes.

You can get in the fun of “not being in the other person’s business.”
You talk of your day, your goals, your childhood, your experiences in the present.
They do the same.
You leave each other alone.

Twelve minutes left.
Two turns of 2 minutes each, kissing the other anywhere but the mouth.
Two turns of 3 minutes each, kissing the other anywhere but the mouth that they request.

Two turns of 1 minute each sharing how it was and the difference.

Labels: , , , , ,