a touching experiment: slow down and touch, take turns

This posting Also to be found in http://PoemsFromNow.com, with many others on love, sex, communication, and movement
and being present
and
slowing
down....


Anything in life can be improved
by
being present

many a disaster can be forestalled or
avoided
by being present

many/ all messes can be cleared up
by slowing down
and
becoming present

today,
we're back to the touching before dinner

ten minutes of making out
or
some
sort of sex

we'll let the sex be up in the air
for awhile

while you practice slowing down
and taking turns

taking turns,
almost like the communication

well,
exactly like the communication
but without any words

you might want to spend more than ten minutes with this

get your trusty timer

one of you lie down
and close your eyes

the other is to touch you
slowly
not in the genitals,
and yes
anywhere else
and everywhere else in your body

for the first day,
don't make any requests if you are the receiver while you are receiving

play like this:

first turn:

one touches,
the other feels

the timer goes off

the other one touches,
the other feels

second turn:

no words of wishing anything different in the first round,
but before each touching turn,
the receiver is to ask:

here is how I'd like to be touched ( firm, soft, tight, gentle, fast, slow, big movements, little movements) and here is where I'd like it to be concentrated

the toucher can honor that, or not

it seems kind of silly not to,
but really, a request has to be really open
if it's truly a request

after,
just a thank you,
no evaluation

and then swap around


third turn:
make a request before you receive, and for sure make in a different request,
different place
different modes of speed, pressure, length

And then
as many turns as you want,
keep going back and forth,

and each time ask for a new place
and a new set of operating procedures

....
we get into such ruts
in sex
and
in life

and we ask so rarely for what we want

and we are so worried that if we finally get on a good grove,
going anywhere else will blow the whole scene apart

touch is talking
receiving touch is listening

have the final turn,
if you wish,
no requests,
but just let the toucher be trying to tell the receiver
something

let the communication be quite
and skin level

see what happens
feel what happens

don't talk for awhile after this,
so if this is to be combined with a talking session before dinner,
do the talking session first
good

When there;s nothing to say

when there's nothing to say...

say nothing

..

or say, "I love you?"

...

or say, "What's good in your life?
.. 

or say, "I don't know what to say, but I like you."

...

say, the truth, as you feel it,

in that moment

and then listen,

just as happy to get nothing,

as you were to speak

for 

it

or speak from 

it

and it here isn't fancy,

it's just emptiness coming out to do the

next

thing

not even the next right 

thing,

just the next

felt thing

as we go

along

living and becoming more

and

more

or who 

we always were

before the

extra got caked on

by others

and

our own suckered into it

choosing

Good

say the next thing

say nothing

the world will keep spinning

your life will still be rich and full of meaning

you will still be present

or not

and one is free

and one isn't

and that's okay,

too

asking each day, to find out who is real and what we really are

if we are living right, we should be getting
at least one "No" a day
to some request we are making for something that
pushes some edge

"Would you like to OM?"
"Would you like to make out?"
"Would you like to make out for X minutes?"
"Would you like to have sex?"
"Would you like to spend the night together?"
"Would you give me your phone number?"
"Would you go to ..... with me?"

This kind of thing in the relationship world, and this:

"I offer ..... for $.......Would you like to buy?"

That's a good one, too.

That keeps things high sensation. And if we don't know yet how to ask and get turned on by our asking and let the yes / no chips fall where they may, we con't quite know how to live yet, don't you think?

Don;t you feel that that's true?
For you?s

slowing, or not, at Whole Foods on computer with blueberries at left hand

Home internet is off for a bit. This means I get to come to Whole Foods
and eat avocado and blueberries
while I write up today's constant contact newsletter.

Hmmm.
Eating and working on the computer.

There is a story of a Zen student
questioning his master,
who was eating and reading at the same time.
"I thought," said the student,
"That when you eat, you eat.
And when you read, you read.
Isn't that what we were taught?"

The Zen master stuffed a little more blueberries
into his mouth,
grinned and chewed happily and then said,
"Yes, and when I eat and read,
I eat and read."

Alas, I wasn't "awake" at the both of them,
and either were a temptation to not really be awake
but to be lost in translation
lost in action
lost in the rolling ahead of life,
as it were.

And it's a good life,
blueberries,
it's a good life,
computer Internet nonsense.

And....
the awake life vibrates
or resonates
or glows
or something


What is it for you?

Here, for me, it's slower
and richer
and easier
no "worry" about the famous
"what's next?"
nor about
"am I doing it right"
nor
"am I getting enough done"

it's just
....
life

which is the present
the miracle
the joy
the yes


good

resolutions, 1

people like to make resolutions at the end of the year

this is the end of the year

the calender makes some sense in the seasons and that life moves forward

and what dreams and aims and goals do we want to move toward this year?

Moshe Feldenkrais talked about real health as
1. bouncing back from trauma
2. making real your vowed and unavowed dreams

and his method, and the way Anat has carried it on
is about this:
teaching us that small and aware steps
taken almost for the joy of the process of taking
the steps
can lead to huge changes

in the so-called "body"
and in our "thinking"
and in
our lives

so, what's next for us this year?

let's have some big dreams
today
and tomorrow
and Saturday

let's take three days
to play
with the big and small and fantastical and practical dreams

and then let's play
and explore
and discover the pleasure in
taking action
toward
these dreams

is that a good plan?

who knows,
and you don't need a plan,
and an idea
can be a glider to soar
on for a little while

and it's the dark time of the year
the go within time
and the party party time
and the drink too much time
or the meditate and get clear time

and time is fictional mainly
outside of the sunrise noon sunset
and fall winter spring summer
thing

and it's time
to come
back to the now

for me

and for you?
your call.
where does you laughter and love and curiosity
and wishing for your dreams
call you

now?

ready to pounce

happiness
waits
like a cat at
a rodent
hole

patient
alert
nothing else in
the world
to
do

just watching
alive
alert
ready

to pounce

rain in May

when you move
from
sonoma

you can get big fat
rain
in May

in
Sonoma
you can slow down
and if
it's too hot
spend some
time
in the shade

if it's too medium,
too hot,
too cold,
too wet
too dry

you/ I / we
can slow down
wait a bit
call it a meditation,
or a return to our
"real selves"

and just
be

be

be

BE

for a while

or the rest of the way




good

Day 40: the Fullness

this is gentle, much gentler than it looks. is part of a Neurological Upgrading Lesson, otherwise known as Functional Integration


Think about your life? Think about your life with as much heart and as few “words in your head” as possible.

Where can you find a feeling of lots. Of plenty. I hate to use the word abundance, it having been so mercilessly exploited by various folks, often consciously or unconsciously making a buck off of other people’s feelings of scarcity.

So forget abundance.

Think “enough.”

Think: feels like I’m in the middle of a rich life.


If nothing comes to you, hey, get into the present and see all the colors, and feel both arms and both legs and your spine, and see what life can bring to you moment by moment, and feel that as plenty.


Right now, hey, put down the book and look out a window, or head on outside and feel the all-ness of life. Feel the fullness. Feel the richness.

Now take another pause. Sit quietly or even better, if circumstances permit, lie on the floor or some sweet Earth, and feel and sense yourself. If outside, look up at the sky. If inside, close your eyes and exult in your you-ness in the moment.

This is, in a way, advanced pausing. Coming to a full rich and plentiful now, a so little trouble to “get to” now, because it is here, always here.

Love this treat. Stay rich today. Enjoy.

Second Time Around, 108 days, last to first, ending Feb 24, 2010; starting November 1, 2009

920. feb 24: day 108: this is a beginning

919. feb 23, day 107, this is my life, 2

918. feb 22 day 106 up and down and five lines, the easy and not so easy

917. feb 20. day 105: sitting and side bending

916. feb 17, day 104: slowing down

915. feb 15: day 103, emotions as actions, so let's move toward free

914, feb 14: happy Valentines, day 102: Write Yourself a Love Letter, both hands write, go slow, love and learn

913. feb 12, day 101: ten fingers, ten toes, belly, eyes, ears, nose

912. feb 10, day 100: a review of sorts

911. feb 9, day 99: having a good time discovering the new in the now

910. feb 8, 98: la, la, la: past over rover, oh well, oh great

909. feb 7: 97, heaven: lying on our backs, learning

908. feb 6 , day 96 rotation for fun, joy, meditation, learning, "relaxation," and upgrading of awareness, ease and "energy

907. feb 5: day 95: 3 kinds of business, Byron Katie shortcut

906. feb 4: day 94: making hell for ourselves by believing the story, q 3 of the work

905. feb 3, day 93, round and arch + smile as breathe out

904. feb 2, day 92: But I don't want to forgive. Ah, to be human and stuck, welcome to the Life on Earth show

903. Feb 1, day 91: Go inside, let it go, and find real Peace

JANUARY 2010

902. jan 30: day 90: Go outside, and see what now tastes like there

901. jan 29: 89< doing fine, breathing two ways and the joy of a spine and a sense of humor

900. jan 28: day 88, heaven's gate = ???

899. jan 27, day 87: hard but, what the heck, waking up is amazing

898. jan 26, day 86, movement around the axis, playing in rotation

897. jan 25, day 85, the pause that wakes us up

896. Jan 24, day 84, what's amazing in your life?

895. January 23, day 83: tongues to the nowing

894. jan 22: day 82: arching and rounding in sitting

893. jan 21, day 81: what we like as a clue to what we are like

892. jan 20: the glory and necessity of now

891. jan 19, day 79:listening in new ways, part 1

890. jan 18:day 78: hopping in two ways, thinking and moving, yes

889. jan 17, day 77: other people are (surprise!) what they are

888. jan 16, day 76: reality through two lens

887. jan 15: day 75: what is reality and other "little" q's

886. jan 14: day 74: what's more, round and arch

885. jan 13, day 73: breathing our way to now

884. jan 12: day 72, what to do: waking to others while talking

883. jan 11: day 71son of a gun, or: awake while yakking

882, jan 10, of what, plenty?

881, jan 9, day 69: what to leave behind

880. jan 8, day 68: breathing out, two ways

879. jan 7, day 67: to heaven, one (remembered) breath at a time

878. jan 6, day 66: pick up sticks, flexing our spines, touching the ground, the wall

877. jan 5, day 65: alive

876. Jan 4, day 64: There's always more, but what...?

875. Jan 3, day 63: Looking at a tree, part 2

874. January 2, 2010: day 62: leaning, rising, being in now not thought

873. dec 31: day 61: what we want vs. who we really are

872. dec 30: day 60: silence is a/ the path

871. dec 29: day 59 : other people and staying awake

870. dec 28: day 58: down on the ground and learning

869. dec 27: liking what 'it' doesn't like

868. dec 27: day 57: Up from down, gravity movement learning and fun

867. dec 26: Day 56: Up and down, for learning and fun

866. dec 25: Christmas songs and two grand hints: silence, nature

865. dec 25, Christmas, day 55 being alive, fully alive

864. dec 24, day 54: nice vs kind, kin and being present

863. Dec 23: day 53: arch and round and breathe in sitting

862. Dec 22: day 52: Wake up to Who we Really Are


861. Dec 21: day 51: What's new under the sun?

860. Dec 20: Day 50: Other people, can we listen deeper?

859. Dec 19: Day 49: More spine, sitting and standing, plop, plopping

858. dec 18, day 48: five lines all day, hmmm, hard and amazing

857. dec 17, day 47< do not let the sun set on....huh??? #2

856. dec 16: day 46: be angry but do not sin, huh??

855. dec 15, day 45: alive and moving on side, spine and pelvis again

854. dec 14: day 44: moving spine and pelvis, lying on the side

853. dec 13, day 43, 20 nice things about an "enemy"

852. dec 12 day 42: What to do: Pause, wait, see, yes

851. Dec 11: Day 41: It's done, it's us, good news: the turn around

850. Dec 10: Day 40: the end of suffering, who are we without the story?

849. Dec. 9: q #3, consequences of attaching to the thought

848. Dec. 8: 38: question 2: Can you Absolutely know this thought is true?

847. Dec 7: 37: on way to Heaven, the Byron Katie boat, part 1

846. Dec. 6: Right now and rotation around ourselves: fun and exploring and NOW

845. Dec. 5: day thirty-five: Now is around and waiting, where are we?

844, Dec 4: Day Thirty-four: Happy, unhappy: watching

843. Dec. 3: Day Thirty Three, really seeing a tree, = love

842. Dec 2: Twisting in Sitting, fun

841. Dec. 1: Day Thirty-One: Talking and Staying Present, 2

NOVEMBER 2009

840. Nov. 30: Day Thirty:Down and Dirty, or not, the being present present present thing

839. Nov. 29: Day Twenty-Nine: Don't take it Personally

838. Nov. 28:Day Twenty-Eight, Standing up straight via spine furling and unfurling

837. Nov 27: Day Twenty-Seven: One Way to Heaven, Slow Down

836. Nov. 26 Day Twenty-six: Gratitude as a fun game, rather than a being good duty

835. Nov. 25 Day Twenty-five:
What if we didn't "Have to...."

834: Nov. 24: Day Twenty-four:Moving with Attention

833. Nov. 23: Day Twenty-three: Sensing our Five Lines

832. Nov 22: Day Twenty-two: Be of Good Cheer

831. Nov 21: Day Twenty-One: First time through, Awake while Talking

830. Nov. 20: Day Twenty: This is my Life, 2

829. Nov. 19:Day Nineteen: Sensing arms and legs AND spine

828. Now 18: Day Eighteen: Waking in Moving

827. Nov.17, Day Seventeen: Emotional freedom, sensing without the words

826. Nov. 16: Day Sixteen: Sweet Sixteen, sweet and bitter straws of life

825. Day 15: Day Fifteen: Take a Nap

824. Nov 14: Day Fourteen: Neck and spine and Pelvis: Or, the Neck starts in the Ass

823. Nov. 13: Day Thirteen: Rotation around our axis, more

822. Nov. 12 Day Twelve: Coming to Ease via Aware Moving/ Learning / Waking UP

821.Nov. 11, Kingdom of Heaven, 2

820.Nov. 10: ACTURE and the real world

819. Nov. 9: Loving our Spine

818. Nov. 8: Standing up Straight

817. Nov 7, Kingdom of Heaven

816. Nov. 6 This is my Life

815. Nov. 5, Being Alive, Sensing Arms and Legs

814. Nov. 4, What if God were around?

813. Nov. 3: Day Three: Emotional Choosing, ? Maybe

812. Nov 2: Day Two: Breathing plus legs, to wake up

811. Nov. 1 Sensing our Legs to Wake to Now

Day Two: Arms and Legs of Our Lives

We walk about on two legs. We reach out into the world with two arms, hands at the end. Might our life be more present if we were sensing our arms and legs and hands and feet as we went about our day?

Can we sense our arms and legs while sensing our breathing and being present?

That's the game for today.

Hard?

Sure.

And being awake is pretty amazing. Give it a go and see what life opens up for you.

Hands are handy. Fingers are amazing. Sense from shoulder blade out to fingers while you are walking, talking, reading, work.

Hard, and very wow.

Feet hold us up, often are forgotten, we can sense them, and the toes even sometimes and sense all the way up to our hip sockets. This is a lot of us. This is a lot of very concrete "paying attention" to ourselves.

This can work wonders for wanting "attention" from others.

And arms and legs and fingers and toes, what a lot of awaring practice this can be.

Work pleasurably hard. Laugh when you forget, find lots of pleasure and curiosity when you succeed.

This is just you, in this moment, breathing and having these two wonderful arms, two wonderful hands, two wonderful legs, two wonderful feet. (Most of us, and to realize that all don't make the sensing and waking to ourselves all the more precious, don't you think?)

day 108: this is the beginning

This is the beginning

Every day offers you hundreds of chances to be yourself, to be alive in the moment, to learn something new, to sense yourself deeply, to enjoy other people, to do things you like and love to do.

There is a Tolstoy fable/ story toward answering the question: What is the best time? Who is the best person for you?
The answer: NOW.
Whoever you are with.

See if this day can be one more start toward realizing and living and loving your life that way.

Possible wonders:

To be present.

To love what is in front of you.

To love what is arising inside you.

To calm and quiet the thinking by sensing more.

To follow the breathing.

To love whomever you are around.

To love yourself.

To love life.

To be empty and present and let that be a worldless / wordless “something” like love.

Good.

Good.

65: Feeling Alive

Feeling alive

Coffee and cookies can get you feeling “good” for awhile, as can a drink or two, or your very special football/ baseball/ basketball team “winning” their game.

You can smile at a child who smiles back.

You can make a green smoothie of Kale and banana, or parsley and pear.

You can take a long quiet walk in Nature.

You can jump on a trampoline or take a brisk walk or run and bike at a bit of a pace.

You can smile and breathe easily, smiling each time you breathe out and feeling and sensing yourself as you breathe in.

Or you can smile and breathe easily each time you breathe in, and sense and feel your five lines as you breathe out.

You can sit in a chair and do as nothing as you can, and let your breathing and your thoughts entertain you, and when your thoughts start to run you, back off from them and just watch, and let them float on by.

You can write down all the thoughts that bother you and do the work of Byron Katie, or you can crumble them up and burn them, or you can look at the words of the thoughts and sense yourself as a living being right now, and realize how much more real you are right now as a living being than those words on that paper.

You can take a walk and recite to yourself five or ten or fifty things you like about being alive.

You can do all sorts of things to enjoy this Being Alive, Feeling Alive thing.

Try some of the above, or make up your own and have an ordinary day that is a wonderful day.

How simple and repeatable and low impact and worry hurry money free can your happiness today be? How simple? How discovered rather than planned? How ongoing without efforting, as you go about your “usual” day?

day 42: what to do: less, and wait, and pause and YES

WHAT TO DO:
Take a pause

You’ve finished one thing and have been “thinking” toward the end of that thing about the “next thing,” and are about to rush from the one to the next, and

Don’t.

Sit down. Look at the sky. Follow your breathing. Sense your five lines. Think about a funny line from a book or a movie or your life.

Take a stroll.

Hop a bit.

Lie down and wiggle around.

Do something else. Not eating, that is too easy a break and often doesn’t really give us the emptiness that refuels.

Don’t talk on the phone.

Just a little bit of nothing.

Be “between things” and be empty. Cultivate this as a spiritual and a practical game.

Do this once or ten times a day.

Do it right now before you read the end of this section.


Really, put the book down and do nothing.


Ah, isn’t that nice, the nothing of coming back to breathing and gravity and bones and awareness.

This is our true nature.


We need quiet to hear our intuition.

We need sensing and presence to be really at home in the Now.

We need a break from the rush of life to find the inner flow of our existence.

This is more important that we realize.

And it feels great. Enjoy this today. Enjoy this today. Yes.

Day Twelve: Coming to Ease via Aware Moving/ Learning / Waking UP

DAY TWELVE
Coming to “Ease”

Lots of life can be made so much sweeter by finding an “ease” in anything and everything we do.

The quickest way to start this is to learn to move in easier and more clear ways. We have been moving since we came into existence, in the womb and out; and along the way we stopped increase the skill and ease of most of our movements.

So let’s take a simple movement, and get some ease and awareness and clarity and enjoyment as we go about it.

Sit or stand and turn your head right and left. Do this only a few times, and notice if you try to “crank” to some imagined limit, or you just flop, flop back and forth to get it over.

Now, again, just once, slowly and with awareness, turn your head once to the right and once to the left and notice what it is like and what, if any, difference is there, right and left.

Now, again just a few times with slowness and awaring, turn your head just to the left and back to the middle.

Rest and bit and see how you feel.

Now put the back of your right hand on your left cheek, and thinking of the hand and right shoulder and ribs as “friends” of your neck, turn your head and its “friends” to the left and back to the middle, a bunch of times, Go slowly. Don’t go to any limit. Find out about your ribs.

Rest.

Now, take the same position as above, and turn to the left with head and hand and right shoulder and ribs, and come back a bit and stop. Now let another set of “friends” turn to the left. Let your eyes go to the left and right from the nose pointing direction, many times.

Come back to the middle and rest. Not from fatigue, but to rest your brain and allow it to integrate any learning. And to sense yourself after movement and notice any changes.

Now turn to the left with your ribs, and your head and your eyes. See if this is a different experience than the first time. All day, be aware of turning and ribs and eyes.

life is good

Morgan face painting


some days
almost too many
sweet
wonderful things happen

including almost arguments
that dissolve into
the bliss of now

this was one of those days




yes

i'm in love and so what

one of my favorite girlfriends, Bella Bella



what a terrible way
to say it
right:

"i'm in love
and so
what?"

and yet
and yet

what is more normal
than being in
love?

what is more
natural
to our
human
being
status?

our being
is love
and
to
be
"in love"
is
just
(just!)
to wake back
up
to all
we
are

before we
coat
ourselves
with the suggestions
and advice
and misperceptions
of others

life
is
one waking
and
lucky
gift
moment
after
another

to be
in
love
is
the
so what
of being
naturally
back
where
we
always
could
be

yes

a good day

gave four lessons
meet two new wonderful people
tai chi on the beach
seaweed for my smoothie
walking in the rain
planting some seeds in the rain
helping make the garden wider

talked on the phone
took a walk
bought some eggs

does anyone care?
probably not.

even i
am amused
that life happened so fully
today
and it
doesn't matter

now
i'm tired

big deal

soon i'll sleep
and wake in the middle of the night

then the fun will begin
staying present
and doing
almost
nothing

with a lot of
knowing
that this
now
is
this
now

Now is easy, why

Now is easy
and

why do we make our lives hard?


So much to do.

And who told us to do it?

Ah, la,
what a world

what a sweet
amazing
challenging

world.


All you need
is some disaster
loss
mess
up
to see how powerfully
healing
and soul saving
the
present can be.

Any time we go there:
Resurrection.

Good.

beauty as we go along

Life on Earth:::::


Today was one of those beautiful days
on planet Earth:

sunrise
warmish weather
trees beginning to blossom

the spring thing
yes

but also,
inside the Chris Elms
game
realizing that I can either be hard on
myself
when things aren't "just so" with the masses
running to do the Neurological Upgrading work,

or I can accept
and love the present
for what it happens
to be bringing

such sweetness
when I go there

Snow in Atlanta: Sunday's gift to 5 million people

In the Bible,
and a possibility
in life:
40 days in the desert (of change)
for Lent

and me:
my 20 days in Tucson
over (see, if you wish: TravelHeal/Tucson)

and life
moves
on

the constant
being change
and its sweet opportunity
to live
in each
and every now.

an exciting
shift from the desert,
now, to the south east,
and sprawling city
and hospitable people

hosted by the Hicks family:

Lee
Fredda
Bentley-Grace
Henry


(here's one of Lee's blogspots:
Advanced Collaboration)

and,
today in
Atlanta....

SNOW:




from Thursday
when I came into Atlanta,

it's been

overcast
so far
full time

rain some days,
including during a race
Saturday


after which I
gave a few sample lessons
in the gym


and today:
big Church
huge
two choirs
six hundred people
or so in attendance
a dinning hall twice
the size of Sonoma Community Center
for church meal
after either 8:45 or 11:15 service

on the way
home:
lots of snow



lots of wet juicy
snow
lots of
love:



good