43: an asskicker, 20 good things for the "enemy"

Turns arounds good and “bad”

Find in your mind and heart someone of whom you are quite fond. Just enjoy remembering them. Then, write down three or four of their traits you really admire. Then write down three or four that you don’t admire. Think of this person, and see if you can smile and feel happy at each of these traits, the so called “good” ones and the so called “bad” ones.

If you can’t smile at the “bad” traits, then write down the whole judgment: “So and so should…” or “So and so shouldn’t…” and do the 4 questions and the turn around.

When you are done, and able to think about your friend with all the good traits and smile and all the “bad” traits and smile, then move on to this section of the work:

Write down each of these traits, good and “bad” one more time, and this time before you write the trait down, write these words, “I am….”

See, of course, how this can bring a smile to you when you find the turn around of both good and “bad” from your friend in you.



Now, for the deeper work, the heavier lifting. Pick someone along the line of an ex-spouse, or someone you “really don’t like.” And for them, write down three or four “good” traits and three or four “bad” traits. With the “enemy” type person it will be more tempting to write more “bad” than “good” traits.

Don’t.

Actually, let’s go even more. Do this: write down twice or three times as many fine qualities to this enemy of yours, than you write down “bad” traits.

See if you can smile at them all, “good” and “bad,” and if not, do the Work of Byron Katie.

Then, finishing this all up, write down all their traits, “good” and “bad” starting with, “I am….” Live today like that.