Day 54: Nice vs. Kind

Real vs. “nice”, or something like that

To be nice. Ah, we all like “nice” people, and tons of “being nice” has to do with pleasing other people, which has a lot of do with socially arranged parameters of what other people “require” to keep their comfortable “sleep” going.

All this is conceptual frame-working on my part. Search around and see if there’s any truth in there for you.


For starters, though, let’s try some distinctions: Nice vs. Kind. Kind means of “kin,” which means treating people like family, assuming the family is a good one. Sometimes being “kind” can seem “un-nice,” as by saying, “I love you and no.” No, you can’t borrow the car. No, you can’t have the money. No, you can’t keep trashing the living room.


Let’s try another. “Nice” vs. being present. In the present we might notice someone isn’t feeling well, and try to make their day better. That could be “nice.” We might also notice that they are trying to manipulate us and work to be both kind and not manipulated.

We might notice, “This person is really acting weird,” and ask, “What’s going on? Something seems to be really bothering you?”

Being “nice,” might mean hiding this. Being kind might mean trying to find what’s bothering them.

And being present might be just being curious: what’s going on here? Is my guess correct about outer reality?

Being present might be looking at the person and seeing an unhappiness.

Being present might be realizing that when we are present, we are relatively happy. We don’t have to drown, or to feel like drowning, or to even “feel bad” about another person drowning, to save them, to be of use.

Play with these ideas today. See what present centered kindness is like for you. Be kind to yourself all day, too!