Day 97: rotation an easy way: on our backs for learning's sake

photo from my daughter's trip to Turkey

Rotation, lying on our back, easy, good, smart

Lie on your back, or some comfortable and firm surface. Bring your left foot to standing (= foot on ground, knee up).

Press your left foot into the ground, and rotate your pelvis to the right while arching your back. Do this the usual “many times.” Each time as if new. Each time feel more of yourself.

Rest.

Put your arms across each other, with your hands resting on your opposite shoulder. As above, press your left foot, rotate and arch your back. Add on, three times rotate the shoulders “with” the twisting to the right, and the next three rotate your shoulders to the left as your hips rotate to the right, back and forth, “many times.”

Rest.

Bring your head into the fun. Do all the above, and have your head rotating, “easily” in the opposite way of your shoulders.

Rest.

If you want to add on the eyes opposite your head, be my guest.

Rest.

Go slow, and feel all the differences each time you add on more complexity.

In the end, go back to the simple arching and twisting. Just push through your left foot and feel the twist and arch in your back. Notice the difference. Then lie quietly and notice the difference side to side.

Then stand and feel differences side to side in your walking, and standing and maybe even breathing.


If you’d like to repeat the entire sequence on the other time a little later in the day, or right before going to bed, that would be interesting and useful, most likely.

For today, notice when you rotate, and have some fun playing with pelvis, ribs, head and eyes in this.

Day 54: Nice vs. Kind

Real vs. “nice”, or something like that

To be nice. Ah, we all like “nice” people, and tons of “being nice” has to do with pleasing other people, which has a lot of do with socially arranged parameters of what other people “require” to keep their comfortable “sleep” going.

All this is conceptual frame-working on my part. Search around and see if there’s any truth in there for you.


For starters, though, let’s try some distinctions: Nice vs. Kind. Kind means of “kin,” which means treating people like family, assuming the family is a good one. Sometimes being “kind” can seem “un-nice,” as by saying, “I love you and no.” No, you can’t borrow the car. No, you can’t have the money. No, you can’t keep trashing the living room.


Let’s try another. “Nice” vs. being present. In the present we might notice someone isn’t feeling well, and try to make their day better. That could be “nice.” We might also notice that they are trying to manipulate us and work to be both kind and not manipulated.

We might notice, “This person is really acting weird,” and ask, “What’s going on? Something seems to be really bothering you?”

Being “nice,” might mean hiding this. Being kind might mean trying to find what’s bothering them.

And being present might be just being curious: what’s going on here? Is my guess correct about outer reality?

Being present might be looking at the person and seeing an unhappiness.

Being present might be realizing that when we are present, we are relatively happy. We don’t have to drown, or to feel like drowning, or to even “feel bad” about another person drowning, to save them, to be of use.

Play with these ideas today. See what present centered kindness is like for you. Be kind to yourself all day, too!

Love Is

love is
easy
really

and that's so strange
to most people
most of the time

that's because
they
we
you and me
we forget
that love is about the other person:

when we want for the me, me, me
thing
running out robot show,
then we are going to be disappointed,
sooner or later,
without fail

when we want the other person
to have
be
and do
exactly what they are doing
feel what they are feeling
like and dislike what they dislike

then it is easy:
because they are just doing what they
always do

another way of saying this:

love is
allowing the other person
to do, feel, be what they
are
doing, feeling, being

and the easiness:
we don't have a choice

and when we realize that:
love


so:
a friend dies

what they did:
left the scene

a certain physical pain
may erupt for awhile,
but the suffering of
"they should still be here"
so I can talk to them, and
share time and love with them,
that's about me, me, me

a nice and loving part
of me, me, me

and still:
their path, their choice:
to die

can we love them
where they are
exactly where they are:
not here


and so,
as Marlie and I get along better
than ever
anyone I tell
that we are going to go separate ways
come February
is
"sorry"
or "feels bad for me," for
us,
and yet,
we are just fine,
deeply loving

our path:
to be together now

our path:
to be apart after February

when that time comes
I'll either love her
as a person not sharing my daily life
and feel clear present and happy

or,
I'll "miss" her
and want her to want to be connected
in our daily life,
which she doesn't want,
and then
I'll suffer

suffering is option

I'll do the work of Byron Katie

I like ongoing happiness, being present
and love

if you want the same for yourself,
you might try the work yourself.

your choice

your sweet and precious choice:

enjoy

---

today's Work of Byron Katie
over at 108 days: Undoing a Wonderful Relationship with Love and Learning

"Other people should be more understanding of what
'Marlie and I are doing" Is that true?

parenting, revolutions, devolutions, evolutions, revolutions

always something to do: planting bulbs, see more at marvelous marlie blog pics

new year
and tempting

resolutions:
i will
be
a better parent

better
at what?

well:
i'll say something nice
everyday
to each
child
i talk to
and will
talk to every child
that lives
in the same
house

that would be good

i'll say something
unexpectedly nice
something new
that i didn't say
ten thousand times
already
didn't say
once
already

that's more of a stretch

i'll forgive myself
for the moments
of anger
and confusion

i'll try out
the thework.com
when things get rough

i'll take a walk
take a breath
sense my feet
follow my breathing
remember i'm alive

love myself
laugh at myself

slow down

slow down and sense
and love
and look
and wait...

for what...

for coming
back
to
now

when things get
rough

all sorts
of possibilities

good

wed Parenting and Love

Marlie's daughter Rose,plus Sari, and Sari's friend Adam, and puppy friend

today is
today

Christmas
is gone

or is it?

the spirit of
giving
could linger on

could be the center
of our days

could be the Kingdom
of Heaven
drenching down
on us
in us

yes

for
in
all the moments
we
can always give
ourselves
the sweetness and awareness
to be now
this present
now
this only moment
we are really
alive

yes

so easy to say
and
actually
easy to do

and almost equally easy to forget

and with our children

this gift
we can always
remember
or forget
to give

our presence:

to just sit
listen
sit
talk
slowly
and watch their faces
and eyes

and listen,
while this sing
babble
talk
ramble

and wait
and breathe
and then
maybe
and talk
in a way
that delights
and inspires them

just the talk of love
free
of comments
and demands

just
i see your beautiful hands
touching the dog
holding the wood,
eating an orange

i see your eyes
letting in the world
sparkling and alive

i hear your sweet words
telling me how much
you love
life
and love
being you

yes

thank
you
thank
you
for being in
my life
in our life
in
life

Serenity and parenting

children like
to challenge our serenity

this pose
above can be one to regain
our serenity

and children
usually don't go out
to drive us crazy
until later,
maybe high school age
when they might
plot to drive us crazy

why would they possibly do that?

all those years we drove them
crazy:
revenge

this isn't a very cheery set of
ideas
is it

or is it:
old wounds,
fine.
and possibilities:
serenity
or going along with the
trouble

the work might
come in handy
when they are getting unruly

but basically
the old slow down
idea:
sit down
watch them

slow down
listen to them

take a breath
and then
follow the breathing
and wonder what
the world
is like
from their point of view

wonderful challenges
that would help us with any friend
or lover

and we can't escape the necessity
if they are our kids

well, actually, we can:
but we'll wish we hadn't

so
it's the same wonderful
story:
our being present
is the best present

in good times
or bad
happy
or sad
busy
or dull:

just to be there
with them
watching
listening
no books to read no TV to watch
no things to rush off to
forget preparing dinner even
for five minutes
just sit,
ask them to talk,

listen