Other people love us, and sometimes they forget

So much of life
is so agonized by wising, wanting, demanding
that some one,
or some ones
appreciate or love or approve of us more.

Trick and truth is:
they do love us.
They may be capable of appreciating us.
They may have the generosity to approve of us.
They may not.

And they do love us.

They just don't know it.

This is an exercise from the book, for sale to the right:
And it's a doozy.

Take someone with whom things seem not to be "going so well,"
and write a if from them to you,
a pretend
letter
to you.

In that letter say exactly what you want to hear.

This is them.

If the letter is kind and loving and apologetic and open
and insightful and seeing how you and they are the same,
and admiring and loving you.

This is who they really are.

You'll feel it.
You'll notice it.

They might never notice nor ever feel this love.

Oh, well.
It's there.

Life is good.

Just relax when someone can't come through with the goods.

Life is good.

They would love you if they could.

They are afraid,
or don't know how to love,
or are afraid to love more,
or afraid to love at all,
or never really learned how to love.

And where are they going to learn?

You loving them, even when they forget that
they love
you.

That's one way they'll learn.

And another: they'll discover the pain of not loving themselves,
and stop.
If they are wise and alert and notice what's what.

If not, they'll keep suffering and
not yet knowing how to love you,
and so be it.

Love them all you can.

They are you, when you forget how much
love you have.

When you forget how much love,
you
are.

Good.

ready to pounce

happiness
waits
like a cat at
a rodent
hole

patient
alert
nothing else in
the world
to
do

just watching
alive
alert
ready

to pounce

waiting

this life
waits for
us
always
always

we can move
we can create
we are as if gods
God

take your choice

and God
good old
God

could be just so
close
so close
right underneath that grouchy person's
frown
right beside the widow's tears
under the stars beyond the stars
of course
we all know that
but
here
too
here resting in our
breath
in the space between our breath
between our thoughts
between our vertebrae

waiting
wating
for us

to come home

Waiting for nothing and we're there

a wet and beautiful day
good

This moment
has enough

can we come to it
and
wait

wait for nothing

nothing will show up

can we bask in the silence
of
this nothing

and feed there?

waiting as a kind of
food

always
available

yum

Day Twenty-six: Loving the space in between

We do this. We do that. Yesterday we talked of not rushing from one to the next. Today let’s make the “pauses” between each activity a sweet and precious part of our lives.

We do A.

As per yesterday, we keep with A, let the next thing ( B ) be in the quiet distance.

No rush to it, no planning it while we are doing A.


And then A comes to an end. In life, little tangled threads often appear, and A has developed almost tendrils, reaching out for more and more. Oh, well. We have to learn to trust our feeling that “enough” has been done on A. (It can almost be like a getting “fed up” feeling, but if we don’t go too long, we can start to sense the “enough for now” feeling.)

Good… A is done.

B is waiting.

Today’s game, let it wait. Really wait. Take a walk. Sit and close your eyes and follow your breathing. Do a few pieces of one of the movement lessons we’ve been playing with. Call it meditation if you want.

And rest, pause, go into the quiet. Real quiet and let that be something that refills you before you do the “next thing.”

Enjoy.

85: Permission/ suggestion: pause and do "nothing"

"Buddha barn"

Take the nothing break, as many times as you would like, enjoy, benefit, wake

Give yourself permission to do “nothing” for five or ten or fifteen minutes a number of times today. Maybe even “many times,” just sit down, or lie down, or take a walk, or stare out the window, or pull the car over and get out and look at the view, or get in the tub, or lie on your office floor or a park grass or a firm wooden floor anywhere, or sit in a comfortable chair.

And

Do

Nothing.

Yes, just be..

No cell phone.

No reading.

No “to do” list. You can play around a little tiny bit with arching and folding to get happier and more connected to yourself as a body in gravity and awareness.

But the point is to just “chill,” as they say.

Breathe, which we will anyway.

And sometimes notice your breathing and sometimes not.

Think, which you will, and as much as possible find something more interesting than thoughts to put your attention on: what you see. The sunlight. The sky. The birds.

What you hear in the moment. Birds, wind, cars, music, your own movement of breathing. Whatever.

What you are sensing, as the air comes in and out, and you are sitting or standing or walking or lying in some shape and relationship to gravity.

How it feels inside your body.

What it is like to just be. Be yourself. Now. Without any program or productivity.

Just you.

Alive.

Now.

Maybe even smiling. This is your day. This is your life.

the things we are afraid of...

being quiet

not being liked

not knowing what to do....next

not knowing what other people..
think
are up to
are

not knowing what we
are

knowing
that it is okay
to not be okay

knowing that
in certain terms
there
is no
"okay"

being stuck
in the same old
same old
over
and
over
and over
again

living a life in
sleep

living a life
in bondage
to our fears about
what other people think
and expect of us

living a life
in bondage
to our reactions
to what other people
think
feel
and
do


and
so
on

some of these fears
make sense

some
are a good sign
but not that commanding:
the fear
of becoming the nothing/ God
that we really
are

like the fear
of being totally
present

something like the fear
of our robot
to give up
and just not
be so sure
any more that life
is meant to
revolve around
"it"


from Gurdjieff:
"Like what 'it' doesn't like."

from
now until tomorrow
what delightful
unknowns will wash up on
our shores
that we will miss,
too busy,
too afraid,
too distracted,
too much in a rush.


we'll see

or
not

waiting

waiting can
be a way
to avoid now

someday
i'll be happy
after....

and waiting
can be easy
as
in sitting on a log
beside a sunny path
waiting for whatever
is going to
come along
to come along

dark day, rain play

wet day, grey, say "Hey"

remember when you were a kid
and didn't care if you were
"hungry"
because you were running around
doing something you enjoyed?

(the old,
having fun
idea
without any organizers,
plans,
or prerequisites)

you vaguely knew that lunch time
had come and gone
and so what
you were "into" whatever it was

today like
that
plants
from this place of Studley st
or from the Garden Park
out to the new place
we are moving too

not many plants
but loving
the idea
that all this buzzed about rain
will wash them
into their new
home
happily
wetly

anyway

came home "late"
and "starved"
and then did 20 minutes
play/ move/ learn / yoga/ feldenkrais
that felt good

then food wasn't bad
at the end
of all that

and life
was at the center
and food
fed me

parenting, revolutions, devolutions, evolutions, revolutions

always something to do: planting bulbs, see more at marvelous marlie blog pics

new year
and tempting

resolutions:
i will
be
a better parent

better
at what?

well:
i'll say something nice
everyday
to each
child
i talk to
and will
talk to every child
that lives
in the same
house

that would be good

i'll say something
unexpectedly nice
something new
that i didn't say
ten thousand times
already
didn't say
once
already

that's more of a stretch

i'll forgive myself
for the moments
of anger
and confusion

i'll try out
the thework.com
when things get rough

i'll take a walk
take a breath
sense my feet
follow my breathing
remember i'm alive

love myself
laugh at myself

slow down

slow down and sense
and love
and look
and wait...

for what...

for coming
back
to
now

when things get
rough

all sorts
of possibilities

good

the game of love

first in the game
is this:

who is looking
and what do i see

second in the game
is the Me
that is looking
the Big Deal

third in the game:
if the Me
isn't the Big Deal
what is wonderful
about what i see

fourth in the game:
what do i love about what i
see

fifth
in the game:
how am i seeing me
in what i see
and then
together
how are we the same
which is

a
big
deal

Love in a Minor Key

yesterday
i motioned toward
a parenting
based
on
now
ness
and
listening

and to move on
to
getting
along
great
with your partner

in any moment
when you are upset
irritated
annoyed
or bored

just
(just!)
ask yourself:
am i conscious now

that's all

weird
that it's so easy

all it is
is that:
wake up to now

alll it is
is
enlightenment

la
la

so
relationship
is a spiritual path

but you knew that,
anyway,
didn't you?

love,
chris