Ten: Emotions as actions

Emotions, viewed as actions, are something we can vary, and in this variation become free of long time stuck reactions and misery.

Say someone, some X ( either an ex-partner, friend, or just some other person we’ll call X), does something Y. And we react in a usual way, Z.

X does Y and out of our emotional machine box comes Z.

So and so gives us a mean little comment and we feel ‘hurt,” say.

Okay, we might take that as a given.

Later, we’ll look deeply into the work of Byron Katie as a way out of slavery to our habitual reactions.

And for today, since we just looked at “acture” as the use of ourselves in actions, let’s look at emotions as if they were an action.

Say we go to “hurt.” Okay, that’s our default. Now, just to begin to broad the scope of how we react, can we stand up and feel our “hurt?”

What if we stand and see what happens if we put the weight on our right foot as we feel our “hurt.” The left foot.

If we think of the person.

If we look at what’s really here, now.

If we follow our breathing while we feel “hurt?”

If we sense our five lines while we feel “hurt?”


And now for the deeper variations:

What if we think, hmmm, I’m making this action of “hurt” and if so, how long would I like to feel it? One minute? Four minutes? Ten minutes?

And since I’m doing it, do I want a little bit of hurt, a medium amount, a big chunk.

And then blending these two: big hurt for 10 seconds. Little hurt for two days.

Just to think it’s something we get to chose starts to do wonders.


And now even deeper.

If “hurt” is one action, what if we try other Z’s to the equation, X does Y and we react (which means act, but they start it rolling) with Z.

What if they do Y, and we get curious?

Angry?

Afraid?

Happy?

Compassionate?

Amused?

Loving?

Bored?

Happy?


Some of these actions are obviously farther from our available repertoire than others. So be it. The trying and the experimenting and going slow and gentle with ourselves is the game.

For today.

For life.

This could be a whole book, a whole life. Let’s see how today goes as a start.

All of Life

life has many faces
and the outside
face
isn't
always the inner
joy

which is always
there,
even
when
we forget

so, hey, some days we are happy
and we know it

some days we "think"
we are unhappy
and that usually makes
us
"feel" unhappy

and the word "makes"
is very interesting

what if we took over
and said:
I am, now, making myself
unhappy

and then,
guess what,
we can return to one of the essentials
of real life,
the essential of
curiosity

And from the curiosity
at our core
we can
wonder,
ah, yes,
we can
wonder,
wonderful person that we are,
just how are we
making ourselves
unhappy.

A grand question:
How am I, right now, using my so called thinking,
and my body rigidity
and my mental inflexibility
and my seeing the world as all about me, me, me
how am I using all this not-really-me-ness
to make "me"
unhappy?

So, wonderful life,
on the "good" days,
and wonderful life,
and wonderful opportunity,
on the "bad" days,
when unhappiness arises.

The opportunity to wonder
to explore
to inquire
to go inside
to listen
to discover
to recover
to uncover
who we really are
beneath
the so-called
'unhappiness."

And to discover, recover and so on,
the HOW of
how we "make" ourselves
unhappy?

Unhappiness good?
No.
Unhappiness bad?
No.
Unhappiness a trip we trap and trip
ourselves in?
Yes.

And the clowning around in the faces
above,
ah,
sometimes
on other, brighter days,
we can pretend to be caught in
the spells
that sometimes really catch
us

Play around with how
lost we can
be sometimes

And inside that play,
the realization
of how amazing this being alive
thing
is.

dark day, rain play

wet day, grey, say "Hey"

remember when you were a kid
and didn't care if you were
"hungry"
because you were running around
doing something you enjoyed?

(the old,
having fun
idea
without any organizers,
plans,
or prerequisites)

you vaguely knew that lunch time
had come and gone
and so what
you were "into" whatever it was

today like
that
plants
from this place of Studley st
or from the Garden Park
out to the new place
we are moving too

not many plants
but loving
the idea
that all this buzzed about rain
will wash them
into their new
home
happily
wetly

anyway

came home "late"
and "starved"
and then did 20 minutes
play/ move/ learn / yoga/ feldenkrais
that felt good

then food wasn't bad
at the end
of all that

and life
was at the center
and food
fed me

Playing and Stupor, parenting and waking up

essay today,
over at Wake Up Feldenkrais
on playing
as the boy
above is doing

playing
without a plan,
without copying,
without compulsion,
without efforting,
as a key
to learning as a lifelong
joy

and if we are parents:
what about this:
to watch play
encourage play
and rediscover
play
in our life

active play
not just paying to be entertained
or letting the tube do
it,
but real play
as we
invent
from within

amazing when
we re turn
to who
we really are

and that being
is now
and playful
and quiet
and serene
and creative
and inventive
and ......
alive

essay today
over at Tai Chi Yoga Health Weight Loss blog
on eating
as a path to
the happiness
of eating ourselves into a stupor
or
the happiness
of waking up
to the now

with mention of
our old friend Gurdjeiff
along the way

hmmm.

Parenting, and Play

play is how children learn
play is how
we
all
no matter how old
connect with the joy
of discovery
and being alive

sports
are usually a pale
and overly stident aspect of play

if your child can invent games
in the mud
and at the creek
and with a ball
and with a basketball
and with a rock
and with an acorn

better off
i'd say
than all this organized
stuff

and yes
yes
soccer
is wonderful
and basketball
and playing the piano

and still
play
that is made up
and unsupervised
and doesn't have the time stamp
and the pressure competition
stamp
and doesn't have the endless
chauffering stamp:

just outside
with a couple other kids
or by themselves:

that might very well
be the best sort



word count: 21,006
NaNoWriMo
la
la

Of course

It's too hard
way too hard

to write a poem
when you are so tired
and that's me

so tired.

what a pitiful
story

and so
following my own
good advice
from past times
and places and words

i'll put the good old attention
on breath
and skeleton
and gravity

and what do you know
i have the strength
to sit here
and type a few more words

hell, i'll even do desk trainer
when i'm done
and lift a few rocks

and sing a little song
death might win in the end
but tonight
being tired's
going to have to wait
just a little bit longer

hey
hey
ho ho

yes

---

PLEASE BE WELL:


Pleasure
Ease
Awareness
Sensitive Strength
Enlightenment

BE

Waking up to now.
Embracing Change.
Learning to learn.
Loving to move, improve and transform.

---

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WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP
April 29, 12- 6 PM

$200 per couple, before April 20, $240 thereafter
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• Learn communication jewels.
• Have more fun.
• Get clear of limiting beliefs.
• Clear the past.
• If looking / waiting, how to enjoy and maximize
the learning and joy.
• Undo old patterns
• Discover new sources of fun and delight
in you
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For more, Read here

Slow + Aware + Gentle + Playful = Learn Anything

HOW TO LEARN, ANYTHING.
If you want to learn something, you need to mix these four ingredients:
Slow + Awareness + Gentle + Playful

As in the recent essay at WakeUp Feldenkrais, if you try to learn to tie your shoes the opposite way in a rush, you are bound for many hurried failures. If you want to figure it out the inverse way, you are going to have to slow way down and see what's going on, and then slowly try the new way.

Without slow,
we can't do it any way
but the way we've always done.

And why go slow?
So we can check things out, notice, pay attention, i.e. wake up
and be
aware.

Without awareness we can be
a high functioning robot
or a low functioning robot.

But to learn, we can't be a robot.

So, we need awareness.
Of our speaking and defensiveness, if we want to improve our communication.
Of our habits of moving, if we want to learn better ways of
playing tennis,
or walking,
or making love,
or sitting in a chair,
or doing yoga.
Of what we aren't yet aware of, if we want to have
a better and sweeter life than we already do.

We need awareness of more than what we are habitually aware of.
We need awareness of what these new ways of being might be like.
We need awareness of how we are actually going about something, anything
that we usually just cruise through.


Gentle doesn't mean you can't learn to lift weights, or do strenuous yoga poses, it just means that you keep your awareness alive by not pushing yourself into the 100% effort box, which always means straining. While we are busy straining, our brains are all wrapped up in "trying," and learning flies out the window.

Here's what I tell people: use 80% of your trying effort, or go to 80% of your "limit," and with the ease this creates, use 300% of your usual awareness.


Playful means that if we do something the same old boring robot way over and over, we won't be interested and we won't learn because it's the fun and play of trying and discovering new ways that makes learning a possibility and a delight.

If we really want to learn, we have to mess around, do things wrong, try out the "wrong ways," experiment with "ridiculous" ways of doing something.

We need to allow right and wrong to step aside and exploration to come to the fore.


So it's fun and it's aware and it's slow and it's gentle and we can learn anything and have a wonderful life.

P.S.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRENDAN.
I LOVE YOU.

---

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---

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---

PLEASE BE WELL:


Pleasure
Ease
Awareness
Sensitive Strength
Enlightenment

BE

Waking up to now.
Embracing Change.
Learning to learn.
Loving to move, improve and transform.