Sunday, November 29, 2009

DAY TWENTY-NINE: WHAT TO LEAVE BEHIND Don’t take it personally:

Don’t take it personally:

Things don’t work out sometimes. So be it. We can learn from our mistakes. We can ponder how to “do it better” next time. And we can take it personally, as if there is something “Wrong” with us, that it didn’t work out.

This is an interesting distinction.

Because, much too often, various people around us might be all too willing to point out “what we did wrong” in a tone that there is something “wrong” with us.

Ah, this is their business.

This is their path in life.

This is their way of helping us to love ourselves in the face of something like a hostile attitude.

Oh, well. They think there is something “wrong” with us, and we have performed something that didn’t work out, and we have put some attention and awareness on how we could improve next time.

And now: we can let go and not take it personally.

We did our best, or maybe not even that, but to take it to heart that we are a failure because something outside of us seems a failure is not kind.

Being kind to ourselves is always a great step.

When we get to the Byron Katie work (soon, soon), we’ll explore the Turn Around, in several forms. One of its most useful and amazing forms is like this. The thought/ belief/ opinion/ idea that “so and so should be nicer to me” does a TURN AROUND to “I should be nicer to me.”

(Also in there: “I should be nicer to so and so,” but the “nicer to myself” is the essence of not taking things personally.)

And that’s our gig today: our grand scheme falls apart: don’t take it personally. Someone has an issue with us. Listen, learn, see it from their point of view, and don’t take it personally. Someone can’t get excited about what you wish they’d get excited about, don’t take it personally. Things aren’t going right: don’t take it personally. Or are going right! Don’t…

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