Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Complaining in, Complaining Out

So, complaining goes like this:

In it comes and we can

1. Take in personally and get all bummed, wigged, angry, sad etc

2. Listen and find it interesting and learn what someone thinks about us

3. Listen and look inside and find out how the observations are usually correct

And this is the drag:

Someone says "You are so selfish," and sure, we can all find that in ourselves.

And under the words, is the tone: You are yuk.

Well, no one is yuk.

So, one way to deal with criticism in is the here the comment and find the truth there, and realize that the undertone of "yuk" is just a way the other person may want us to feel bad.

What's to feel bad about not being perfect?

Check it out.


You have some harsh words to say about another person.

(Usually to a third party, unless you are the normal person wasting your relationship using in as a slugfest of insult and jib and counter-insult and jib.)

You are the one saying: You are selfish.
So and so is selfish, silly, ignorant, arrogant.

Fine, that's usually true.

And, get over the thinking they are yuk, because,
you can always look in and see that,
I'm selfish, silly, ignorant, arrogant.

Wow: we've got that in common.

Both ways:
criticism in: wow, they told be something that's true about me

criticism out: wow, me and another have something in common

And, is that all true?

Run it around as c in, and c out, and see what you c?

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