what would your mother say, if she were dead and you were grieving?

so hi,

and hey,

someone has to ask the question,
right,
about the grieving thing
which is
"normal"
and if you don't do it "enough"
all sorts of bad stuff is supposed to happen
and besides
everyone will think you're a creep

and God knows, the purpose of life
is to avoid other people's bad opinions

but,
let's ask the dead Mom's
what they would want

and guess what,
this has not been tested or approved by the FDA

so:
hey Mom,
you're dead,
and my question is:

how much should I grieve

and here's the answer I here:

"As much as you want,
but from the dead side
of things,
you really see how amazing
the life side of things
is,
and don't grieve so much
you forget
even for a second
how amazingly lucky
YOU are
to be in the life boat,
the ship of the living,
RIGHT NOW

so stay present while you grieve
and immensely grateful to be alive

and if you want to feel grateful
to me
go ahead,
that's good for you

but why cry about gratitude
I loved loving you

and if you want to keep loving
me,
go ahead,
that's good for you,

but why cry because we can't hug
or talk

just send me love
all the love you want

it's the best you can
do and
loving yourself
for doing the best you can do

is what I want for you

and the yucky sobering part of
grieving
the part where you have these
chilly realizations that you
could have loved me more

hey, forgive yourself,
i could have loved you more,
too,
and it's just the reminder that's important:

love people while they are alive
call them
up
write them,
have their memorial six months BEFORE
they die
not two weeks after

just learn from what you weren't perfect
in
me,
I wasn't perfect either

forgive me
in case some of your grieving is convoluted
anger that I wasn't better

i was perfect
you weren't perfect

that's perfect

send me all the love you
want
and then
quit grieving
and go out and love so living
people better
and better each day

and here's a hint:
you're a living people

so love yourself better each
day
too

good,
love
Mom