the failure of arguing

ah
la, la, la, la:

the failure of arguing:

arguing is dumb and brutal
and
most of us
know that
and most of us fall for it
now and then

or often

who knows,
sometimes some
of us
are slow learners

anyway:

here's how an argument goes

each Side thinks:
"I am right, the other is wrong."

each Side believes,
fervently:
"I am reasonable, the other is unreasonable."

each Side almost always
interrupts the other
when they are speaking and doesn't notice
and
is deeply offended when the interrupting
goes the other way

each Side likes to paint
the other as psychologically wounded,
depraved, weird childhood, lousy heart,
bad patterns
whatever:
you know the drift:
"The other one is unreasonable and wrong
because they are f....d up."

each Side likes to forget
their own unreasonableness and
patterns of misusing themselves and others

each Side wants the other
to
"Listen"
which means, really
to
agree

and doesn't want to "Listen/ agree" with the other

both sides emerge
from the fracas
weary
and sure
that "If the other would just..."
then this weariness, annoyance, sadness, anger
would
not exist in the world

which is to say:
when we argue
we get to be at our worst
as far as making others
the cause of our inner suffering

la,
la

what
a mess

I got into one
of these
recently:

not proud of me


oh, yeah, one
more grim
cost/ habit in the arguing game:

the usual post argument route
is this:
find so-called Friends
to agree with the
fundamental premise of the
argument,
the "I am right and the other is wrong."

Get friends to chime along,
"Oh, yes, you were soooo right,
the other is soooo wrong."

Feel righteous.

Get nowhere.


And: can the human race
be saved.

If we can lift above this level.
Somehow.

So, my part:
see how I blew it.
Let the other side be right
instead of wrong.

Love the other side
rather than the usual demean, find flaws,
find people to agree with me,
be Right,
blah, blah, blah.

Can I do that?

Yes.

Can we all do that?

Yes, we can.

Movement and Love, helping our knees, please

we've been dealing with Knees
around here

a sweet and amazing
joint
the knee is really amazingly
designed to do not very much,
but it's a huge responsibility:
to transfer the power of the center
down to the feet
to transfer the information and
grounding from the feet up to the pelvis
and from there
to the spine

and it's the feet
and the hip/ pelvis that are supposed
to have lots of mobility,
and the knees
just kind of do not very much
going this way or that
as they bend and straighten
and transfer the force

so:
how to improve your knees?

lie on the floor,
one foot standing on so that one knee is
up toward the sky
and one leg long

if one knee is "iffy"
start with the first best
knee as the one
pointed to the sky

and with the foot pretending to be walking,
or doing yoga,
or standing around,
push a little weight into the standing foot,
and experiment
play around with
discover
the different ways you can
push into the ground:
side of foot
other side
toes
heel

then do easy
feel good
and
interesting circles with your pressure thru
the foot into the ground

and reverse

and rest

and same, first best leg:
come to foot standing again, and press into the ground
a bit,
so the pelvis is rotated,
and circle the knee,
but think of this as coming from the hip,
and feel as part of the circle, a nice sweet
arching of your back during big parts of the
circle

and reverse

and rest

and then
maybe,
in imagination or "reality"
do the same thing,
gently
with your second best leg/ knee

there's lots more
and lessons are cool,
see links to right
on neurological upgrading

and what about the "relationship?"
well,
things are sweet,
and good to dig in the sweet times
so i'll do something today over at
108 days

and on what?
the first troubling thought that comes to mind is
"I don't know what's going to happen"

that's an old familiar source
of suffering,
isn't it

so jump on over
and join
the undoing fun, if you wish

ciao
Chris