Friday, January 13, 2006

Jan. 13: Quarrelling to Love, 4:Fun

This seems almost absurd to posit as a pathway out of quarrelling: having fun. Or, it seems redundant to the already suggested pathway of asking the question: Am I happy now? And, Is my partner happy now?

But it is what we do after we answer truthfully, “No, I’m not happy now, and my partner doesn’t seem happy either,” that determines the quality of our life from that moment on. Amazingly enough, most people when they realize they are unhappy, just get unhappy about that. Not a useful strategy, do you think?

Another, better response is to go deeply into the sensation (not the words) of the unhappiness for some length of time you yourself decide. More on this later.

And then, there is this highly intelligent and often forgotten way out of unhappiness: having fun. Here’s some possibilities when the quarrelling idiocy strikes:

1) Speak in gibberish – say your really, really important stuff in sounds that aren’t words. Take turns listening and snarling away, but only in gibberish. Get to the point where you have to laugh at yourself and each other.

2) Switch sides. You argue the side of your opponent/mate and they argue yours.

3) Take off all your clothes and argue naked. Or argue naked in gibberish. Or argue naked in gibberish taking each other’s side.

4) Stand back to back, lean over and look at each other upside down between your legs and then say your very important stuff.

5) Simplify the argument. Take turns saying, “Me right, you wrong. Me good, you bad.”

6) Take off at least your shoes. Sit on the floor and let the toes talk instead of the mouths.

7) Tell you side this way, “Baby me want….”

8) Sing and dance out what you think are both points of view.

9) Invent your own zany way of making fun of our human idiot tendency to throw our joy, love and lives away in the arguing trap.


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