Sunday, March 21, 2010

Day Twenty-One: The Turn Around

We all have these judgments, these shoulds and shouldn’t, for other people. After putting the written down judgment through the mill of the 4 questions, a great deal of wisdom, healing, humor and humility can be had by doing what is called the “Turn Around.”

The turn around, most simply, is taking that you’ve preached and turning the sermon back on yourself.

“So and so should be nicer to you” TURNS AROUND to “I should be nicer to so and so.”

“This person shouldn’t gossip about me” TURNS AROUND to “I shouldn’t gossip about this person” (especially I shouldn’t gossip to others about how this person gossips about me.)

“This parent shouldn’t have been so critical” TURNS AROUND to “I shouldn’t have been so critical of this parent,” (again, watching for the insidious, “they started it thing,” where I’m critical of this parent about their being critical of me.)

In all relationship trouble, this turn around gets us out of the other person’s business and focusing on the one person we might be able to change, ourselves.

And there is an inward pointing turn around that works like this:

“So and so should be nicer to me” TURNS AROUND to “I should be nicer to me.”

“That one shouldn’t disrespect me” TURNS AROUND to “I shouldn’t disrespect me.”

This is deep work, great play. Today take all judgment at least to the turn around, and if you have time, do the 4 questions first. Enjoy what this teaches and gives you.

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