Sleeping Life, and Life with Divine at the Center

Sleeping life is thus:

doing what we always do.

Doing what we hope, want others to approve of.

Doing what we are "supposed" to.

Having a mind full of "thoughts,"
which are auditory hallucinations of us saying the same things,
over and over and over.

Responding according to program.
Even,
sadly at Ananda:
how do you feel asked by teacher,
and the robot
response:
Awake and Ready.
Ready yes, to please,
but awake,
to the feel of feet on floor,
the vibration of sound in throat,
the quality of light
Right Now.

Usually not.

And yet,
a big longing for Ananda
at least they knew
and wanted
connection to
Something More,
Something Higher.

The Divine in life,
the Delight at the Center of it all,
the Joy that Haffiz
sparkles us to
over and over in his poems.

So, what's next
for this seeker,
who isn't clear how to get
what he's seeking?

The work of Byron Katie
as usual,
leads me
and anyone straight to heaven.

Is it true
I should know exactly or even slightly more than I do
what to do next?

Nah.

If I want more clarity than I have
what happens:
unhappiness.

If i give up the story
of wanting a clear way
to resolve the longing,
who am I?
Free,
delighted.
Divine.
Perfect.

Just the way
you are
without your story.

Clear and Present

I loved being at Ananda for a month.

The nature.

The same people
that we got to see
without getting in cars,
and making appointments
in our calenders
and all that normal
"when can we get together....
so busy...
i'll call...."
nonsense.

people
meet
greet
have time for each other.

that was part of my campaign
for slow sonoma:
stop driving off
somewhere else,
walk over to a neighbor's
house
and talk, or garden, or walk together

anyway:
i realize
now
back in sonoma,
(which is not as slow
as i was in ananda,
a village that deliberately
did not put in a cell phone tower)

how important a spiritual under
pinning was

i am not a total yoganada
fan
though i love his book

but i like a spiritual
place
and i like
yoga where they say
yogas chitta vritti nirodah,
which means,
yoga
is the stilling
of the whirlpools of thought and worry and hurry
and a coming back to the stillness of just now.

i like being present
now,
and clear
and unhurried
and unworried

i do disagree with all this stress
in ananda about working
up the energy
i think
the energy is always there,
and if we just stop being unhappy,
or unpresent
or worried
or tense (which comes from unawareness, often),
then we have all the energy in the world

maybe i'm wrong

but i'm really liking this idea
of
clear and present mind
no real focus,
except the focus of
such a sweet space of
being here
aware
alive,

all that,
what a prize
each
moment
a gift

yeah, yeah,
you know the one,
a
present