Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Wednesday, Jan. 18: Feeling Bad, 5 : You Pick Amount and Depth

FEEL BAD, 5: GO INTO IT
Think of Feldenkrais, and the idea of not just moving the shoulder, but of paying attention to the direction and the amount and the timing. In other words, you don’t just move, you select sub-categories of variation and test and enjoy them all to discover more about yourself.

How about treating an emotion the same way? Something comes along. You do the Work. You breathe into it and sense it. You have the feeling that the feeling needs to be paid attention to, and you have the realization that this is your life. You don’t want to be engulfed in the feeling. But you want to honor it. You want not to run away.

Pick an amount of feeling. As in, I want to feel this as big as I can, or half as big as I can, or a third as big. Whatever. It’s your pick.

Pick an amount of time. As in, I want to feel this for four minutes, or half an hour a day, or seven minutes. Grieving the loss of a loved one you might want to feel forty-five minutes a day for as long as it take. Feeling bad that someone snubbed you may be worth 3 minutes. You pick.

Recently something I read got me bummed out. I did the work and still had residues, so I decided I wanted to be medium bummed out for 8 minutes. I set the timer and lay down and concentrated on feeling bad for 8 minutes. You have to try it. Believe me. It’s very different when you decide to go with an emotion, even if 8 minutes seems like nothing. When you give yourself totally to it, even for so small a length of time, very interesting things happen. I won’t tell you what, because it might be different for you. Just remember: go the length you pick and the amount you pick. Half depressed for 8 minutes was a wonderful experience. I hope your experience is equally interesting and exhilarating.

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