BEyond Suffering, life is freedom, and we can choice many many option

Let's just do this all up quite grand:

Pain is stuck
is lack of differentiation
is same old same old in an unsatisfying way

The way out:
freedom

Can be the shake the chains,
go beserk (from Norse warriors, foamed at mouth, destroyed all in sight,
and lots they couldn't see through the foam),
trash about,
do the opposite of our conditioning

and we're still slaves:
two ways of doing something is still slavery:
the way and the reaction to the way

So, here's what I realized:

Any feeling bad can begun to be broken
open into mindfulness
by coming home to ourselves and looking/ noticing/ awaring:

The thinking part of the feeling bad
(I'm no good, he's so awful, this is not fair, etc)

The Feeling part of the feeling bad
(sad, afraid, angry, annoyed,
etc)

The sensing part:
sensations in our body,
almost always restricted in feeling bad

and the
"soul"
part,
which is some lie about how small and little and separate
and unvaluable we are

Okay.
That's just the start.

Then in each of those four areas:
how about at least four options;

Thinking:
Take the thought and see the difference if we perceive it as
an opinion or the truth

Take the thought and hear the voice to it, and make options
with that voice

Many, many more


Feeling:
Going MORE into the feeling

From that going less

The feeling plus constricted posture and breathing
the feeling plus upright posture and breathing

The feeling plus gratitude

many more


Sensing:
Where is it in us: make it more intense

Find the edges'

Sensing that part, plus the arms and legs

Sensing that part, plus looking outside of us and hearing outside of us

Movement and that sensation

Many, more


Soul:

This feeling as if we have forever to live,
this feeling as if Life is this moment now

This feeling as a story people laid on us:
who is the real us underneath

This feeling watched from emptiness

Much more

Okay,
I consult by phone.
Expensive,
and you can go and go and go
with this.

I hope you do.

Chris

try 3, something must be being learned, is that true?

I don't know
and
here we go:

in the airport
on the way:
where to: Austin, Texas
why?
more special needs kids
musicians
warmer winters
son suggested it, his buddy is a supposed "in" to lots of people
met someone at a conference in Chicago in July: they made it sound amazing,
hippy church, open people from all over

why special needs kids
where from:
small island in the pacific northwest, orcas island
amazing place
and only 4000 people there in the winter
and
supposed to be a cold winter
and
dark, even if not cold
and only a few special needs kids
one of whose parent is how I met Orcas Island,
he's another
Anat Baniel Method practictioner

okay:
two journeys so far:
Orcas to Austing
What is Anat Baniel method practioner
and what does that have to do with this:

the table,
in front of me, on the stage, unopened

couple behind in line:
are you some sort of body worker

me: well it looks to outsiders like body work,
but it's brain learning, repatterning, helping the person
learn and move and think and especially, be present to themselves in new ways

c:
huh

m: well, i didn't really say that>
brain work that looks like body work

c:
we're both accupuncturists, we have a real fondness for seeing the
tables where the work takes place, what do you call your work

m: the anat baniel method is my deepest training
originally trained as and am practitioner in the Feldenkrais Method

c: oh, yes. we know it well.
where are you going?

m
where am I going
Austin

which is here,
and I know two people, well three, though two fairly well,
and both haven't time patience curtousy whatever to contact me
back
when i tell them i'm thinking of moving here

so why move?

wanted a change
wanted bigger client base

wanted to see what a place would be like
that I didn't already have set up

because i'm always on the move?

not really,
but in February of 2009 I left behind 12 years in
one of the world's supposed paradises
and took off for a month at a time in
various pre set up places,
all with a friend, or almost friend waiting with a place
to stay for a month

And before Sonoma,
where I was established enough to have designed
and created a 3 acre garden
and run for city council
there was
22 years in Berkeley,
where I raised to kids to high school, and beyond
and transitioned out of sitting on the butt work of
doing therapy
to moving around and making thing work
of design build and landscaping

And that's another journey
the spiritual journey of sit on the butt
and do goody goody meditation
and the reading of sufi stories
to the Gurdjieff work where the mediation
is to sit in the morning
and do
,,,,,
and then get up and do
,,,,,
all day

sense both arms,
both legs,
notice sound come in my ears
light coming in my eyes

something i could much more easily do
building decks and additions
and putting in gardens
that sitting in a room
talking to people

and the journey away from therapy
and back, later,
to being able to help people with any of that
via the work of Byron Katie

so:
at the airport:
on the way to Austin

Oakland airport, October 16
and the previous Octover 16 I'd come to Orcas Island,
leaving it several times for training in
the Anat Baniel method

that journey: getting more skilled

what is it?

move ourselves,
alone,
in groups,
hand guided

someone want to lie on the table?
anyone in the audience want a little journey
of guided movement,
and your brain will be a little better tuned
and you'll feel more flexible and younger and
more present
probably

all bets are off for humans,
exactly,
but each lesson
is a journey of discovery:

so journey:
Of you in your seats
Of someone here on the table
of me spiritually going out to do gardens and build gazebos,
fun for the Stanford book learning man
and the spiritual work is fine
but if the back hurts
the back hurts and in Berkeley
where I'm raising kids and making money
and being awake to arms and legs and breathing and light
and sound
or not

and what if we
now shift to arms and legs
and light and sound
and begin to turn your heads

no first

no first

and does coming back to now shift your
self
and is that shift a journey
and is to create an opening for that inner shift
why we take these outer journeys

and the back hurts in the work
and Berkeley is full of Feldenkrais classes
and I lie down on the floor and make simple
movements
and feel healed
whole
wonderful
better

so that is a start of my F/ ABM journey

and then Berkeley becomes the garden journey,
Berkeley Botanical Garden,
and landscaping
and
finally a Permaculture training
and I have to move to The Land
to begin to grow food,
become a farmer

looking many places,
22 years in Berkeley
what is the "right" spot
Santa Cruz

and so on

22 done,

I like this

Good.

let's throw in some Sonoma pictures

1008: Friday, the 13th, not: Friday before Valentine's day, yes... What is Good?

What is true?

What is good?

What is beautiful?

Somehow I remember these as the (THE) Q's of philosophy.

And what is true?

You are sitting or standing or reclining somewhere, reading this.
You are aware, or are not aware of your breathing.
Same for me.
Okay, so that seems true: two organisms, beings, humans, on this
planet, both knowing language. English.

Is that true?
Well, you are breathing and can sense and feel that, and your head
is held somewhere in space in relation to the rest of you, and you can
feel that, unless you've had a rather severe injury.

What is true?
Words about the "ongoing moment" aren't that glittering
or nourishing,
and the
experience of the ongoing moment is
very peaceful, and nourishing.

To me, anyway.

What's your truth?


MOVING RIGHT ALONG:

WHAT IS GOOD?

Heck if I know.

It's good to be warm, it's good to walk,
it's good to have someone to cuddle with at night,
IF that's what you have,
and it's good to sleep alone and have all the bed to
yourself
your warm and wiggly self
to move and dream and squirm
and experience
all by yourself.

Valentine's Day is for Lovers,
they say,
and is what "they say"
ever true?
Sometimes.
Often not.

So, to heck with "they."

And what is Valentine's Day for?

Marrying yourself.

Kissing yourself in the mirror.

BEing amused by any "my sweetheart sweetest lovey, lovey
stories
you are telling yourself.

And even more amused by the lovie , lovey, loverly lovely stories
that you are your Mate
AGREE ON.

This is so often love's sweet mask:
yes, yes, we both believe the
"we are so wonderful together" story,
the "we are so in love" story,
the "we have such a special thing" story,
that we don't have to wake up
and be present to each
other today

we'll just coast on the story

...
la, la


for some it lasts and lasts, this story,
and some actually use the positive
and grateful framework of that story
to look at
TODAY (as in Now,
as in True, see above)
this mate, friend, partner, stranger,
caretaker of billions and billions of brain
cells that aren't ours,
and experiences that aren't ours,
and thoughts that aren't ours,
and knowledge, learnings and knowings
that aren't ours

They are different

oh, well

on a good day, we love that

on a bad day, we resent that and want them to be
MORE LIKE US

and on really good days,
we see the sameness
the oneness
unity
all that good stuff
beneath the differences which we love

We are all life
or awareness
or someone

we are all ONE

"They" say,

and maybe they are right,
who knows

......

WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL?

A flower
a blue sky
a friend laughing
us laughing
a friend being alive
us being alive
the quiet sweet joy of an empty mind

these are my opinions

I'm not a philosopher
and I'm a lazy person this Friday afternoon,
and Valentine's day is Monday

Good: write yourself a love letter,
if you have a mate
and if
you don't have a mate

If you want to send one to them,
too,
fine

And if you have estranged edges with someone
try this:
write from them to you
a love letter
where they say, you doing the imagining and writing,
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR

......

It sounds weird.

It's worked
for me.
"Worked" = ???

Find out if it "Works" for you,
and if there is other sh.. hanging on
in your heart,
then it's in your thoughts
and there's
always the
Work
the Work of Byron Katie
to sweeten your love  for self
for another
for life

play in those fields if you want truth that leads to peace
and beauty

good

happy V love and waking up day

which might as well be them all, eh?


chris

998: Happiness is an inside job

You know, some people say that happiness is the purpose 
of human existence.


What would a tree say is the purpose of being a tree?
If it could talk, which luckily,
it can't,
it would probably say that the tree's purpose was to be a tree.


Being a tree might just to the exactly wonderful thing
that makes a tree happy,
and so a tree must be pretty happy
all the time.


And how about you, fellow human.
It's supposedly a New Year, and there is various huff and puff
about the Mayan calender next year,
and whether that has anymore substance than the hundred's of "time ending"
schemes
that have crowded up and into history throughout
the centuries,
who knows.


And is today happy for you?


Is right now,
reading this notice on this computer sitting in
whatever chair you are sitting in?


If you were happy, how would you know?
If you weren't happy, how would you know?


Is happiness, like water boiling, something best noticed after the fact,
or can it be conjured up into being whenever we wish?


This is today's game:
be happy all day.


When you aren't happy,
be happy that you can discover something, some difference
that makes a difference, about how you go about making yourself
unhappy.


Read that sentence again: notice how YOU go about making yourself
unhappy.


Be happy for the chance.


When you are happy,
takes some notice and awaring into discovering the other side
of this action:
how do YOU contribute to your own happiness.


Any fool can blame another for their unhappiness.
Many a later disillusioned person will "blame" another person
for their happiness.


Pretend for today that happiness is an inside job,
and see how you go about these two actions:
making yourself unhappy
and
making yourself happy.


Bon voyage. 

Love in the winter

When I look over yesterday's essay I realize
that most people might
not be willing to make the effort to figure that X stuff through.

                   

And that's fine
or tragic
or just the way it is.

So, I'll go over it again, because in a way,
what I said was of grand possible use to anyone who is
struggling with one of life's perpetual problems:
the imperfections in others.


Say, we have a friend, co worker, lover, parents, child
who does something we don't like.

Let's say that they
"Don't appreciate us enough."

Is that a grand complaint that most of us have had at one time or other?

Yes.

So, here's love as a series of actions
that we can chose between rather than a "feeling"
which is either there (when they "appreciate" us enough)
or not there (when they don't adore us, basically)

Okay: here's our options:

they "Don't appreciate us enough.

1. get mad and go away

2. complain to them and demand they change

3. complain to our friends

4. complain to our diary

(note that in all of these, we are busy not appreciating them)

5. wonder if something is bothering them

6. wonder who we would be if we appreciated them more

7. notice who we would be if we appreciated ourselves more

8. discover who they would be to us if we just looked at or
remembered seeing them in the present, wordless moment,
no words in our head,
what would we see

9. experience what love would be like
for them
if we were interested in only this moment

10. realized that in this moment
the power of life
is as if we are deeply loving
ourselves

11. expanded our appreciation of our
sometimes lack of appreciation

12. got a sense of humor about how we often do
just what we are complaining about

13. think of ways to shift back and forth from
appreciation to non appreciation to appreciation
and
feel
which feels better

14. and notice how we do that

15. and come to realize more and more
that
love is an action

not a feeling

ciao

chris