Love in the winter

When I look over yesterday's essay I realize
that most people might
not be willing to make the effort to figure that X stuff through.

                   

And that's fine
or tragic
or just the way it is.

So, I'll go over it again, because in a way,
what I said was of grand possible use to anyone who is
struggling with one of life's perpetual problems:
the imperfections in others.


Say, we have a friend, co worker, lover, parents, child
who does something we don't like.

Let's say that they
"Don't appreciate us enough."

Is that a grand complaint that most of us have had at one time or other?

Yes.

So, here's love as a series of actions
that we can chose between rather than a "feeling"
which is either there (when they "appreciate" us enough)
or not there (when they don't adore us, basically)

Okay: here's our options:

they "Don't appreciate us enough.

1. get mad and go away

2. complain to them and demand they change

3. complain to our friends

4. complain to our diary

(note that in all of these, we are busy not appreciating them)

5. wonder if something is bothering them

6. wonder who we would be if we appreciated them more

7. notice who we would be if we appreciated ourselves more

8. discover who they would be to us if we just looked at or
remembered seeing them in the present, wordless moment,
no words in our head,
what would we see

9. experience what love would be like
for them
if we were interested in only this moment

10. realized that in this moment
the power of life
is as if we are deeply loving
ourselves

11. expanded our appreciation of our
sometimes lack of appreciation

12. got a sense of humor about how we often do
just what we are complaining about

13. think of ways to shift back and forth from
appreciation to non appreciation to appreciation
and
feel
which feels better

14. and notice how we do that

15. and come to realize more and more
that
love is an action

not a feeling

ciao

chris

116: Soul: As on Earth as is in Heaven.... huh?

What can a beautiful flower teach us about connecting at the same time to Heaven and Earth, and the oneness of It All?

On Earth as it is in Heaven

What does that mean?

It means what you want it or understand it or sense it or intuit it to mean.

This book is a second go round of 108 ways in 108 days of living life to the full, using the underlying concepts of BEING PRESENT and lifelong learning through the concepts of the Feldenkrais Method, which are, among other things: learning as noticing differences that make a difference, and finding connections we previously were missing.

Today we’ll try out one way: the be “on Earth” is to bring us closer to being “in Heaven.” Which means what?

Sense your relationship to gravity all day, every moment if you can. You can’t, I can’t, but give it a go. Sense your feet, or your rear end, or your bottom and your back if you are in the usual slumping/ sitting posture: sense them all as how you are relating to gravity.

That’s “grounded.” That’s the Earth.

And as you do that, have some connection, in your understanding/ intuition to a connection to “Heaven.” Awaring of light. Awaring of the vastness of Life. Awaring of God. Awaring of silence underneath all.

See if you can feel at once Heaven and Earth and their oneness.

Thinking and Walking: Words, Gibberish, Silence

Don’t worry, be happy

In the Bible, Jesus urges people to think of the lilies of the field, urges people not to worry, counsels: Who by worrying has added an hour to their life.

And Mehr Baba said the famous: don’t worry, be happy.


And, easier said than done, though I’d venture that a vast percentage of drug and alcohol and over eating is based on trying to get the worrying to go away. Which means: it’s not easy.

Good. Something to learn.

Here’s the ticket: take a walk today, three times. That will spring you from the rushed schedule you think you have to maintain.

And on that walk, look at what is present, and listen to what is present and feel your feet on the Earth.

And notice: when does thinking as worrying creep in. When it does:

One: say hello.

Two: shift the words to a sort of gibberish that conveys the tone but not the particulars.

Three: See if a no thinking/ no word option is briefly available.

Four: one all three walks compare: empty, worded, gibberish. Enjoy.

Day Thirty-Two: Going for Real Emotional Peace and Freedom

We have had various experiences, and usually have ourselves locked into a narrow box, our interpretation of that experience. What if we began to uses our imaginations to stretch our heart and feeling and understanding of these events? Could that lead to an amazing inner peace?

Take some event in your life that was a “little bit” on the “bad” side. Not a major trouble area, but something that you have in the category of Not So Great. Or maybe Sort of Awful.

For that event write a very, very short 3 to 5 sentence rundown of what happened in this Not So Great event.

Then look at your sentences and feel what you usually feel. Write down your overall impression of that event.

Now, look at these sentences and give yourself another way of perceiving this than what you have sentenced yourself to all along.

Look at this event as interesting. Look at it as tragic. Look at it as amusing. Look at it as wonderful. Look at it as awful. Look at it is funny. Look at it as a big mistake. Look at it as a Gift. Look at it as a setback. Look at it as a great stimulus.

Obviously, different viewpoints will be a hard fit, and so what, this is to stretch us. Change means change means change.

If we always perceive things as we always perceived this, we are stuck. High functioning robot. Low functioning robot. Somewhere in between. But not free. Not awake. Not fully alive.

Anyway, look at the “sort of bad” event in many ways, and then come back to your body and your breathing and sensing yourself, and try to, play with this: look at the event just as What Is. Or What Was. Just as an event, without any up down or sideways take on it. Just pure experience.

And then take a little rest. Walk. Breathe. Smile. Drink some water.

Okay, now take an event that was “Sort of Good.” And run it through all the possibilities.

Then look at this event without any interpretation.

Rest between sections. Maybe walk. Maybe re-do one of the awareness and movement games we’ve done so far in this book.

Next: take a “Medium Bad” episode and run it through the options. Be sure to include, this was a Curse. And this was a Blessing. Then look at this event without any interpretation.


Rest, walk, move, draw, garden.

Back: Take a “Medium Good” time, and see it as Grand, as Awful, as Liberating, as Stifling, and as all the above possibilities and more you can think of. Then look at this event without any interpretation.

Rest. And if you are ready, take a “Really Bad” event, and let it go through your mind as Awful, and a Curse, and Wonderful and a Blessing. As the Worst thing that ever happened to you. And as the Best thing that ever happened to you. As tragedy. As comedy. As crippling. As liberating. As punishment. As gift.

Then look at this event without any interpretation. Make breathing and knowing your are breathing and sensing and being present the highest priority, from which you can scan back as see this event as just pure “happening.”


And now, after another rest, go about your day looking at everything as either something you can interpret one two three or more ways, and as something you can just experience without interpretation.

Judge not that ye not be judged. Somehow this fits in here. See if you can grasp this in a deep and nonverbal way.

Good.

day 103 , emotions as actions, so let's move toward free

this picture is New Year's Day, a bunch of us nuts went in the lake for about 20 seconds

Emotional freedom

Let’s play with options.

Let’s play with feelings.

Take someone you still aren’t that crazy about. Find some things “wrong” with them.

Imagine doing the Work, the four questions, the turn around. Maybe even do the Work.

But here’s the deal: play with your feelings toward them.

Try out anger, and fear, and amusement, and enjoyment, and curiosity, and love, and distain, and admiration, and respect, and scorn, and loathing, and being charmed by them.

Give yourself emotional elbow room.

You aren’t a robot, but people often have such stuck reactions to people.

Be free.

Be complicated.

Enjoy your options of feelings for lots of people today.

building love, 10 minutes at a time

how get clearer with someone you love:

they talk,
you listen
no interruption
four minutes
listen, really listen, don't "plan" what to say

they stop
a timer goes off say

a minute or so:
silence

next talk,
you talk,
they listen,
you talk about you're important
places,
your loves and likes
and anything
but about what they said
anything
but about them

two people,
in their own business

building love

common to the Work of Byron Katie and Feldenkrais

Both don't say:
you have to change.

Both open a door:
you can feel better,
be happy,
be more free.

Both don't tell you
what you are doing wrong.

Both allow you to discover
and at some deep level
decide
to make a change
if it's sweet and good for you,

by providing an options

by providing options.


If we are unhappy,
the katie work says:

judge your neighbor (know your pattern,
don't try to be too good)

write it down (slow down the obsessive thoughts
behind all suffering)


ask four questions
(let mind meet mind,
use the power of comparison
to heal,
not as often, to dig ourselves into a hole)

turn it around
(try a completely opposite pattern)


The four questions:
is it true?
can i absolutely know it's true?
how do i react when i believe that story or thought or belief?
who would i be without the belief?

Two sets of comparing:
is it true, vs, is it a belief, story, opinion, interpretation

how am i when i attach to the belief
who would i be without this attaching and believing?

no command to stop
the belief
an experiment


The Feldenkrais Method
allows
us to try our habitual pattern,
and
then add on this alternative
and that variation,

try it in different
configurations
than we usually do
(on ground, on side, on stomach, back and so on)

change speed pattern:
slow down

change unconscious moving pattern:
pay attention

change having to get something done,
and done Right pattern:
explore

we become young
empty
learners again

a whole new world
opens up


is this fine?

Yes.

March Email to Look at In Color

March is here.
That's good.
We are moving toward equinox,
which means spring. Hmm.
The blossoms sure think that's so,
and maybe it won't snow again.
Maybe it will. Everything changes: how about us?

Change is wonderful and a little scary, because we
become something that is new,
and even if we are happier,
and move in easier ways,
and have nicer relationships,
and are healthier,
we feel a little lost without our old
familiar tension and suffering.
Oh well.

Peace is in the air, the local air, care of Terry and Melissa,
the gals bringing us our chance to help create a U.S. Department of Peace. See them Friday mornings at the Farmers' Market, and/ or check out: Department of Peace. So far 18 city councils have backed the idea. Wonder about ours? I do, too.

Tomorrow's, the day,
to walk on over to the polls,
breathing the good air,
smelling the blossoms,
and vote YES on the parcel tax.

As usual, I have many options, for you to consider using if you wish to explore, learn, enjoy, use for your wishes and aims

1) ONE ON ONE LESSONS:
For amazing results. And a gentle path there:
Try Functional Integration lessons.
Four lessons and transformation will be well under way
Not just "fixing," but learning to be a younger, smarter you
Ten lessons and you could easily feel and move 20 years younger.
For those curious about the Feldenkrais Method, the Feldenkrais Guild has a brand new (several days old) website at Feldenkrais.Com.
And here can explain part of it:
Back, Neck, Shoulder Pain, Carpal Tunnel

2) COMMUNICATION SESSIONS:
For couples, parent teenager conflict pairs, and groups.
Business upgrading, in group morale and team functioning
and
CREATIVITY
and stress reduction
and HAPPINESS ON THE JOB.
Click atCouple and Parent / Child Communication


3) Weight Loss and Health Expansion
A ten week program.
Examine beliefs, heal with Feldenkrais, nature connection,
real foods, habits, enjoyment, hypnosis, exploration, the Work of Byron Katie, and more.
Fitness & Weight Loss

4) There's more. Like straight Byron Katie work. If you are in the mood to heal and transform, and be happier and more of what you really want to be in your life.
Group Meetings Friday evenings, 2nd and 4th Friday night
7:15 to 8:45 PM
$25 first person in family, $5 each additional>
Call to reserve and make sure we're ON.
Or see
Byron Katie / Happiness
Work

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P.S.

The Work of Byron Katie and the work of Moshe Feldenkrais

THE WORK OF BYRON KATIE AND WAKEUP FELDENKRAIS
In the Work of Byron Katie, which we'll call BK work for now, you take your habit of suffering and apply the mind to undo the suffering that the mind is creating for itself.

In the Work of Wake Up Feldenkrais and the Feldenkrais Method we take our habits of constricting and disabling our abilities to move with ease and grace and we find options, that allow the brain to come to easier and more pleasant and efficient (which means less effort) ways of moving.

In the Gurdjieff work, Gurdjieff says the function of the intellectual center is to compare.

For anyone who's had rough times in life and looked at themselves a bit, it has become obvious that the comparing game is at the root of much if not all suffering: wanting to have as much money or sex appeal or youth or fame as so and so, wanting someone to not treat us this way but some other way, demanding that reality not be this but that.

In Feldenkrais, we use this ability of the mind to compare and click that in to learn: how does the right side compare to the left? How does it feel and work when we turn our head to the left and shoulder to the left, vs. how it feels and works when we turn our head to the left and our shoulders to the right. We compare our sensation and image of ourselves throughout a lesson. Each time we notice differences, we have given our brains and our Selves food to learn new and easier and more pleasant ways of being and moving and breathing and learning.

And the Katie work, as I've laid out many a time:

Judge your neighbor.
Write it down.
Ask four questions.
Turn it around.

So already, we are taking our suffering and doing something with it. We are judging and not hiding from our judging. We are writing down and slowing the mind to the actual accusatory words. We are asking four questions. We are turning it around.

And the four questions?
1) Is this thought true?

2) Can I absolutely know that this thought is true?

3) How do I react when I believe this thought is true? Or, how do I react when I attach to believing this thought is true?

4) Who would I be without attaching to believing this thought is true? .

Notice, that like Feldenkrais there is no: This is the Right Way vs. this is the Wrong way. It's comparing and discovering that set us free.

In the BK work, first two questions get us to compare our thought as if we considered it set in stone reality and if we realize it might or might not be true, i.e. that it is a belief arising in our mind, not in reality. If we believe gravity will pull a rock toward earth, we are in pretty safe grounds. But if we believe our spouse should be more friendly to us, this is a construct from our own (very human) mind, wanting a more pleasant world.

So the first two questions begin to undermine the Righteous certainty that is always part of our suffering. Is it true? Can I absolutely know it's true? These allow us to separate the thought out from the world, separate the world as we want it to be, from the world as it is.

And the third question, this is our brain on the belief. (Recall the TV commercial, years ago when I watched TV: this is your brain on drugs, this is your brain off drugs. Similarly, question three and four are: this is your brain /mind/self on the belief. This is your brain off.). We write a list of all the consequences of believing say, that so and so should like us more. Say: we feel sad and angry and hurt and weak and like attacking them, or ignoring them, or gossiping about them. This is how we are when we attach to the thought.

And then question four: who would we be without the thought? Again, no rule to give up the thought, just to try it out, what are we like without the belief, the attachment to the thought?

Thus our mind can compare and without forcing and effort, just like in a Feldenkrais lesson, the system naturally picks the more easy and less stressful pathway.

And to give ourselves a full upside down option, we do the turn around. Girlfriend should listen to me more, turns around to , I should listen to girlfriend more. Husband should be more considerate of me, turns around to I should be more considerate of husband.

What can we learn from that?

And how many Feldie lessons blossom when we do a movement in a way totally contradictory to the "natural" way? Moving head to the right and eyes to the left, we give the brain a chance to discover something, to rewire, to learn, and suddenly: our neck is softer and easier. We didn't "try" to soften our neck.

So, we don't "try" to be nicer to others in the BK work, but we begin to get way free when we realize: Hey, I'm thinking so and so should lay off the criticism and I'm criticizing them right and left, what's wrong with this picture.

So freedom by taking habits and running them through variations and options and new ways of feeling and seeing and understanding the world. What nice paths these two offer us.