Friday, June 29, 2007

Wonderful Relationship, part 12

Sometimes we go about ruining our relationships with complaining. Our friend / partner/ lover is doing something we don’t like and we yap, yap, yap, about “You always do this.” And it’s twin, “You never ….”

The first question of the Work of Byron Katie: Is it true? Should be enough to get us laughing about our always and never statements.

But, what do we really want?

Well, at one level we want them to do something different.

Say, they pick food off our plate and we don’t like that.

We can COMPLAIN: “You are such a pig. You act like everything is yours.”

We can DEMAND: “This drives me crazy. You have to stop this.”

We can REQUEST: “I’d really like it if you’d stop picking food off my plate.”

Now, a request is a hidden demand if the person has to only reply to our request in the way we want.

So, say for some reason, they just love to pick to food off our plate, or keep forgetting and do it now and then.

Here’s an interesting distinction: love vs getting our way.

If we have to get our way, we can keep demanding, or complaining or requesting. If we can get beyond that it’s all about me syndrome, then sometimes we can request again, and sometimes just be charmed at the way they do whatever they do, including drive us crazy sometimes.

If we can only love the other person when things are done our way, we don’t really know what love is yet.

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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Whole Foods?? Big Deal.

I was quite thrilled about the opening of Whole Foods until I visited the store.

No bike racks.

Loud music sort of like: let's all be forcing ourselves to pretend we are
way cool and hyper and upbeat.

No bulk section.

Meat and fish sections not as good as Sonoma Market.

No raw organic chocolate nibs.

Tons and tons and tons of stuff packaged in plastic.

Oh, well. They still had a good price on organic ginger, nice displays of produce and wide aisles.
Nice place to visit now and again,
and I'm planning on keeping a lot of shopping back in Sonoma Market.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Exercise that uses variety, big time

I mainly talk about this sort of thing in the,

but it fits with a central theme
about how we are going to save ourselves
from ecological disaster,
which is usually called: saving the earth.

The theme is this:
do less,
do it in smart
and fun and interesting ways.

These videos are in a gym
but they show
what amazing development
you can have when you think along Feldenkrais lines:
less effort and more intelligence.

Watch and see what you think:

U tube lazy crazy sports

U tube guy talkng about it


Sensitive Strength


Waking up to now.
Embracing Change.
Learning to learn.
Loving to move, improve and transform.


"To make the impossible, possible;
to make the possible, easy;
to make the easy, elegant."
Moshe Feldenkrais.


Mondays until June 18
at the
around the corner from the Post Office

Monday June 25,
skipping July 2, and then
from July 8 on into August,
at the Field of Dreams,
shady area between upper and lower levels,
(bring a mat or blanket if you don't
want to lie on the grass)
12:30-1:10 PM
Bring a Mat or Blanket
Dressed Comfortably
Be Enthusiastic about Learning, Feeling Better
and Expanding your sense of Enjoyment

until June 20
(west of W 5th, on bike path,
or on Linda St. just west of W 5th)
10-10:45 PM

Then August 8 on in Olsen
Park at 9 AM.

Cost: sliding scale : $10-20
Seniors (65+) sliding scale: $5-20.
First class: $5-10.

For amazing and transformative
and gentle
one on one lessons,
Functional Integration®
Individual Lessons

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Two Great Books, not just for Children

edward tulare
These could be used as “kids” books. But they are a thrill for parents to read aloud, and even if you have no kids around in the house, they are great read to your partner aloud books.

You do that, don’t you, read a chapter and then your partner reads a chapter?

You can do this with kids books or adult books. I once read a good deal of War and Peace with a partner, as well as Shogun. With exciting adult books the temptation is huge to read on ahead when the other is asleep, but hey, it’s still a wonderful practice, reading back and forth two adults, sharing the written word by turning it back into the oral tradition.

Words in the air and we listen.


Anyway, we just finished the second of these two great books mentioned in this essay’s title. The book, recommended by Andy at READERS BOOKS, was The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulare, by Kate DiCamillo. If you’ve ever read or seen the movie of Captains Courageous, it’s a little like that: a spoiled creature learns life’s hardships, learns to love, becomes better.

In this book, the creature is a china rabbit “doll” named Edward Tulare. At first he is quite the conceited character. Life has in store for him adventures worthy of Dickens and by the end you might almost or for real shed a tear.

The second book, is Kate Dicamillo’s first book: The Tales of Despereaux, about mice and adventure and I’ve actually forgotten most of the ‘plot” and we gave the book away. Maybe she’ll give it back. Anyway it was a wonderful story, recommended by Lilla at Readers Books. Some of their recommendations on adult books I haven’t found thrilling ( History of Love, House of Fog and Sand), but on kids books that adults will love to read aloud, they are spot right on. With these two at least.

Buy them, read them with a friend. Enjoy.

P.S. If you go to this link, READERS BOOKS,
you'll find that Lilla is giving her recommendations for summer reading tonight, not at the store but at Buttram Hall in the Episcopal Church.

La, la. Happy reading.

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Friday, June 08, 2007

Why drive?

hands on elbows

Why would rabbits drive rabbits cars over little rabbit roads, you might ask. Then again, you might not.

We will now take a pause for our sponsor: Life.

Life is presenting you this show, this essay, this you sitting at your computer looking at these words and having certain thoughts or feelings and sitting in a certain way.

Life is in you.

Do you know you are alive?

If you follow your breathing and sense your feet and spine and legs and arms and follow your breathing do you know more easily that you are alive?

Do you like feeling you are alive?

Do you like the feeling of liking being alive?

End of pause.

So far: we have a story, a silly story, of Fred Fur an angry rabbit who is calling his anger upset, and we have a story of his brother Billy wanting revenge on the rabbit drivers and we have a question: what are rabbits doing driving cars?

Well: let’s say it’s like this (this is a story, right, you know, fiction): the rabbits of the planet Earth, like most of the Earth creatures, at a certain time in Earth’s history started to go a little or a lot crazy. Maybe it was the chemicals in the air, maybe it was the weirdness in the weather, maybe it was the crowding out of natural places and the ungodly (depending on your idea of god, or God) amount of human consumption and noise and greed and waste.

Bad vibes, or crowded vibes or polluted vibes, anyway, the rabbits starting thinking like humans and they thought that feet and muscles and moving along on their own power wasn’t good enough. If people had cars, they wanted cars. Some clever rabbit invented them. Another one came up with a fuel, which wasn’t gasoline, because the rabbits were pretty sure that that avenue was a sure fire recipe for disaster, but they found a way to use old newspaper, which there always seemed to be a lot of, and so they drove on the outskirts of human settlements in little almost magic rabbit cars fueled by old newspaper.

Now I say almost magical, because these cars were not observed or discovered by human beings when our story takes place, which is either a long long time ago, or a bit into the future.

Anytime but now.

We pause here to contemplate that now is the only time we can really know we are alive as we are living our life.


Now Billy was wanting revenge and Fred was wanting to control Billy, and the rabbits who were driving rabbits cars were driving themselves crazy, because they were so intoxicated with how much speed they were making and how fast they were getting from place to place that they scheduled lots of “things to do” every day and every night and they were so “busy” going with great and intoxicating speed from one Important Thing to another Important Thing that they were exhausted and hardly had any time for remembering they were alive.

They had the same problem we do sometimes when we get to busy.

Hmm. What do you think about that?

And now: where will our story go from here?

Well, cars and anger and brothers and ecological breakdown and rising insanity are great as background noise, but without a little love, how can the world go around?

So Melissa decides to move into the story by moving into to the town Fred Fur lives in, and she is a piano teacher(small pianos, these being rabbits she teaches) and the first person she bumps into is Fred.


“Excuse me, oh hello. You look as if you are new and Sunshade Acres.”

“Is that what this place is called?”


“Well. Gosh. And I bumped into you because I was watching the clouds. Nice clouds.”

Melissa was much nicer to look at for Fred than the clouds, and he probably would have scored big points if he’d said that. But he didn’t. He just wondered what he was going to be able to say that would be interesting enough to keep Melissa around so he could look at her a lot longer as they talked.

“Clouds are famous for Sunshade.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The clouds create shade.”


“And the sun creates clouds. Or maybe it doesn’t. I think I understood that once.”

“Do you mean that Sunshade is famous for clouds?”

“Is it?”

“I don’t know. I’m not from here.”

“But you are here now?”


Melissa was finding this quite amusing. She was just recovering from a nasty divorce so she wasn’t really interested in the opposite gender, no matter what they say about rabbits, but she was glad to know she still seemed to have the ability to inspire confusion and awe in a frisky male rabbit.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

A story starts: for kids or ???

marlie yoga
Practice plus Feldenkrais makes amazing.
Nothing to do with story following.
Is that true? Read and decide for yourself.

Fred Fur is having a bad day. His brother Billy was scared off the pathway last night by a car. A rabbit driven car, of course, since if Billy had been on one of the human roads most likely he would have been run over and then Fred Fur would feel bad, but a different kind of feeling bad than he feels today.

Today the feeling is frustration. Today the feelings is a little bit angry, though, Fred likes to hide from knowing that it is anger and he calls it “upset.” This is a habit he got as a young rabbit (notice the rhyme, which happens all the time with rabbits and their habits, which is why they get into so much trouble), when over and over his mother, Matilda Fur would glare at him with eyes burning, and would have a tense mouth that looked not ready to eat carrots and celery and other delicious and nutritious food, but looked ready to chop bamboo down to the ground, Matilda would look at him with all this furry in her fury face, and tap her foot was if to knock a ten foot hole in the ground and say, just sort of screaming: “I’m getting upset at you, Fred. Very upset.”

What Fred knew then, and still knows now (Matilda being up and about and on her twelfth set of rabbit little ones since Fred) was that “very upset” meant ‘shift your behavior quickly or Mama is going to blow her stack and start screaming and throwing things.’

So actually, Fred learned too things: the big rabbits pretended they weren’t angry by calling it upset. And that anger/ upset was a weapon to push little rabbits into place if they didn’t do what they are told.


Anyway, Fred was frustrated and quote upset unquote not that his brother Billy was shoved off the pathway last night by an unsafe and stupid driving young rabbit in one of the way too many rabbit cars that had become the latest craze in rabbitdoms attempt to be as crazy and hurried and harried as the human race (and what were they racing toward anyway?), but Fred was frustrated and quote upset unquote by Billy’s response to this incident.

For Fred was a wise young rabbit, pursuing his PHD ( Pursuit of Happiness Degree), and he had learned a thing or two. And one of these things or two that he had learned was that it wasn’t the random stupid stuff that other rabbits did (ignore you, call you names, forget to come to a party they had said they’d come to, tell lies and so on), but it was the individual rabbits response to this bad stuff that was the cause of unhappiness.

“Listen to me, Billy. It happens all the time. The car rabbits and driving wilder and weirder and faster all the time. If you let it get you angry, then they are controlling you in a certain way.” ( Fred was quite clear about anger in others. With him, though, he got upset. Quote unquote.)

“Stop that nonsense , Brother,” shouted Billy, who was angry and didn’t mind being called angry. “These fools need to be taught a lesson.”

“They need to stop driving so fast and so carelessly.”

“They need to be punished.”

“Oh, Billy. How can you think that way? Do you like to be punished?”

“Of course not, but when I do stupid and harmful things I should be punished.”

“Can you absolutely know that this is the truth?” asked Fred.

“Don’t try to trick me with thinking clearly. I’m angry now and I want to do something and what I want to do is invent a bigger and meaner car and mow down all those stupid rabbits in their quick little cars.”

“And then what will you have?”


“And what of all the hurt rabbits that fall victim to your anger and your big car.”

“It will serve them right for pushing me off the road.”

“But how many cars pushed you off the road.”

“At least three.”

“And how will you know the right three to punish? Even if punishment worked, which you said you can’t be absolutely sure that it is true that it does.”

“I don’t care about truth. I just want to act out my anger and get back at some drivers,” said Billy, being very truthful in that particular remark.

“And still, how do you know you’ll punish the right three.”

“I don’t care about right. I just want some action. Maybe I should get together with all the hotheaded rabbits who want to declare war on the badgers. They have a dictatorial leader, and they are hogging valuable land along the creek and in the meadow. Maybe we should liberate the badgers and get back the meadow while we are at it.”

“You are crazy, Billy. You just want some sort of crashing around.”

“Sure. I’m frustrated. This is what everyone does when they are frustrated.”

“We aren’t neurotic housepets to humans, Billy.
We aren't, shudder to think of it, humans with their pave over nature and bomb out your enemy approach.
We are civilized.
We are rabbits.
We do things small and quite and we care for the Earth.”

“Ha. These new young drivers just care for their loud music and their fast cars. Though if I hadn’t heard the loud music I wouldn’t have jumped out of the path, and then I could have been really hurt.”

And so their talk had gone. Billy stays angry and full of plans. Fred stays frustrated and quote unquote upset.

La, la how the life goes on.