Taxes are taxing, death is relaxing, love is everlasting

taxes come
taxes go

the time of year
so near my birthday

and we can be taxed
or vexed
or tweeked
or rushed

or just sit down
and do
what we have to do
and follow our breathing
and look out the window at the birds
and take a walk
in now
(see my book, for many a "soul" chapter
in "walking in the now")
and remember:

we are alive
now
no matter what rigmarole life
is seeming to require of us

and then
we die

which,
with a story
can seem sad
scary
unfair
weird
whatever

and without the story:
it could be like going to sleep
at night

the hurry and worry and rush
and demands
all disappear

and the Sufi's
say: die before you die

have that death to the worrier
and the controller of others
and the unhappy one

have the death to stress
and trying to hard
and even
to being bored

die to the "later it will be time
to be happy"
and
just be happy now

on the way
to whatever is next

and when we do the Work of Byron Katie
and judge our neighbors
write it down
ask four questions
and turn it around

that turns into a little death:

the death of :
"so and so should have been better/ different/ more
the way I I I I me me me wanted"
and what's left after that?

freedom
love
release

love can be what's left when we
"die"
to the stories about how x and y and z
should be different

and we can improve
that's what huge amounts of my work is about

but let's love ourselves along the way

and working with the children:
love them exactly as they are
so we can be there with them
as they discover
as we help them discover
what can be next in their skills
and increased
love of life

and how does that incease?
noticing more

noticing more differences

noticing more of the glory of life
to be in love with

helping the children
to love more of themselves
and more
of life

what a nice job

what a nice job for anyone

helping ourselves and others
to love
life
more

good

happy April

Chris

spine, head and eyes in the "now" at our computer

Recent blog postings at the other two locations:

Monday, Hints for special needs parents with a child that likes/ habituates with a hand in the mouth
at  http://specialneedschildren-chriselms.blogspot.com/

Wednesday: the "Swiss Army Knife" movement for all 4 of our backs movements
at   http://wakeup-feldenkrais.blogspot.com/

Friday: here, Hi.

I sit at the computer, realizing, as sometimes I don't,
that sitting at a computer
is
sitting
and
looking.

So, reminders to you reminders to me:
is the screen about at head height.
Mine isn't though I have 7 books under my laptop
(I have an external keyboard, otherwise you end
up typing like a dog swims),

The top of the monitor is just above eyelevel
so I get to "so what"
and "it's too much trouble"
this awareness,
or actually get off my rear
(the sitting part of this)
and fetch a few more books, so the computer will be such that
the middle of the screen will be at sitting upright
eye height.

Oh, well,
up I go

And, I'd forgotten the pitfalls of gathering books
especially from a house wherein most of the books
are not "mine," and hence
full of rare jewels that I haven't gotten around yet
to perusing,
so many books, so little time


AND
I found just the right 4 more,
and of course, 4 or 5 "have to look at/ read' books
that didn't get used as props.

Okay,
eye level screen

and now
the sitting part


well, you know, I imagine
that leaning back in the chair is
nice for napping
and even for low grade yapping (when our mouths work
and we forget we have a body)
but for thinking clearly
and writing,
hey; try it and see,
sit forward on the chair,
both feet on the floor

feel your spine easily holding up your head

how to find today's nice placement
for your spine

round down, middle back back, nose
descending to the desk,
chin coming toward your chest, feel your weight shift to the back of your pelvis,

then un slouch by coming forward on your pelvis
and bringing your head to upright

leave the shoulders out of this
your spine with the attached ribs hold
up the shoulders easily and all on its own
but do soften and maybe bring your belly
forward a bit
so you feel your back muscles
holding up your spine
with the head at the top
a pumpkin on
a broom handle

(Need a haircut, but waiting until Monday to trade
with worlds's best slackline female,
Faith Dickey,
see their website: http://somewhereelseland.blogspot.com)

now you are have a good 20 minutes or so
on the computer

and it is legal to shift side to side a bit
and rock to mini slouch
and mini arch
to keep your spine happily in motion,
since we tend to lock into positions
that might not be exactly where is
best and easiest for us
just now
just today

good

Monday ramble: new thinking via new approach

From now on,
an essay will come to slowsonoma.com
each Monday

and an essay to WakeUp-Feldenkrais.blogspot.com
aka Brain Plasticity, Learning, Love and Vitality
on Wednesdays

and an essay
to Tai Chi / Yoga / Health / Weight Loss / Everything
on Fridays

sometimes
the "essay"
will be more a poem
sometimes
an "essay"

sometimes a bunch
of questions

hope you'll come by and visit

here's today's "essay"

THINKING IN A NEW
MODE

Most of us don’t think.

We have a bunch of words running in our heads, often rehearsals of something we plan to say ( and usually don’t.). Sometimes we replay old conversations and give ourselves better lines. Again, sadly, we often spend our mental chatter time complaining about someone, often the person we live with, and hopefully we don’t get around to dumping this load, but even if we don’t, what a waste of a mind.

And then sometimes we think radically true thoughts:
I am alive.
Or,
I have not been aware for the last couple of hours.
Or,
I didn’t need to say what I just said.
Or,
This isn’t working, what else can I try.
Or: This isn’t working, how can I slow down and observe what I’m doing to learn a more useful and effective and easy way to go about this.
Or,
(This close to the first one) I’m going to die someday. Is this really how I want to be using my time and energy and thinking and emotions?
And more.

Later, I’ll have a chapter full of possibly useful or life opening questions to mull in a day, or in a life.

For now, though, I have a proposal.

Let’s go about thinking in a way that the movement activities are actually encouraging and developing: thinking without words.

You’ve had the experience. Suddenly a thought, an answer, an insight just pops into your mind. It’s about something that’s been troubling or fascinating you, but you really haven’t been grinding away at the “issue.” You were doing “something else” when the newness of real thought popped into your mind.


So, today, let’s go about this.

Get a couple of sheets of paper. Look at the first blank page and allow your mind to be as still as possible.

Then, allow yourself to write down four or five words that you would really like to think about. Love. Fear. Freedom.

Many, many more.

Just single words and no more than five.

Write them down, and look at them and follow your breathing and do a little bit of a pelvic clock and have as few words as possible in your mind.


Then, circle one word.

Don’t think. Just pick.

Now, write that word on a new blank piece of paper. Look at it, again, sensing yourself, following your breathing and doing a little arching and folding of your back as you look.

Have an empty mind, as if silence is a vast field of quiet wisdom there just for you to dip into and mine.

Breathe.

Relax.

Don’t think.

Look at the word.

Look away into the distance.

Wiggle side to side.

Get up, walk around. Look at the word.

Turn over the page, forget the word, and go take a walk, again with the walk to be a time to be wordless. Walk and watch. Walk and breathe. Walk and notice your feet touching the ground. Walk and notice light coming in your eyes. Walk and notice sounds coming in your ear.

Come back to your paper. Look at the word once more and start to write for a couple of pages, without stopping, or “thinking,” or punctuating anyway other than what comes easily, about this word.

Let the words and images and ideas just pour out.

Do that until a couple of pages are full.

Take another walk.

Come back, do NOT yet read what you’ve already written, but check in with your intuition and see / feel/ guess if anymore words want to come out. If they do, spill them on out.

Then rest a bit. Or walk.

And then read what you’ve written, and decide if this “thinking” can lead somehow to some wonderful, even if ever so slight, shift or change or improvement in your life.

Happiness, awaring, improving, loving

blah, blah
fancy words

and if i'm not
now
i'm
missing
...
my life

and if i'm not
happy
why am i alive

and it's thicker than
that

if i'm not happy
i'm probably in
"thinking"
as in:
this is not the way
i would command the world
to be
if I were God

and so
how
to get out of that

the work of Byron Katie

laughing

being honest

coming back to now


...........

coming to my possibilities:
i can be aware
and improve
and enjoy:

the way i move
and am
in my body


i can be
aware
and improve
and enjoy

the way i exist
and churn
and light up
or forget to light up

in my emotions

good stuff

fun
stuff


loving this moment
and let
the next take care of itself


and improvement:
from being curious:
how do i really do this

and what would change
if something else changed


as in:
feeling bad
and then starting the Katie work
and asking
"Is it true?"
and what change happens,
just with the first of four questions

curious
what will happen

not greedy:
to rid of unhappiness

same with body stuff:
sore back say:

one,
the old greed, make it go away thing:
drugs or do this this and this

or
try the tilt of your pelvis
as you sit there,
tilt forward on pelvis, lift sternum
what difference does that make

tilt back on pelvis,
lower and come in with sternum,
what difference does that make

awaring

being curious

hanging out in real information
in the real present

a path to bliss
a path to happiness
a path to enlightenment
a path to everyday improvement
and enjoyment


hmmmm


sounds good

waking up and Feldenkrais

Feldenkrais is a name
and it's a shorthand for a method
and it's a way of exploring how
to improve

improving is an improbable thing:
most people don't want to change
unless things are really horrible

this is good
and
it's not so good

we all know those few people
who are running themselves raggedy trying
everything under the sun to cure this and that
and the other

most people
however could improve
their connection to their
bodies
and the grace
and ease of their movement
by taking advantage of the Feldenkrais Method®
which is what the simple word "Feldenkrais" implies.

Feldenkrais is
really a man's last name ( Moshe Feldenkrais,
physicist, judo teacher, inventor, 1904-1984)

So , how could someone get a taste of the Feldenkrais Method?
Come to one of my classes.
Okay,
but quicker than that:
Try to link to the right
that says this:

FREE intro lesson:
Desk Trainer
(actually,
you can link right here)

That's the quickest way.

Another way might be this

1: Notice that you are sitting on two sit bones, Sitz bones,
the part of your pelvis that is for sitting

2: Lean to the left enough so that you can feel
really feel
that the weight is mainly on your left side

3: When your weight is over there on your left side,
breathe easily,
and after your breath is easy, rotate your head to the left
and to the right.

4: Notice which way seems to be easiest to rotate your head
when you have your weight to the left

5: Come back to the center. See if you notice anything different
from side to side

6: Shift most of your weight now
to the right side
to your right Sitz bone
and become comfortable with your breathing here

7: And in this position rotate your head
right and left
and notice which was seems easier.

8: That is a beginning exploration:
what is our pelvis
where is our weight
how does our head move in space
how can we try something new and be at ease
what is there to learn in some new configuration

And if you want to go further,
there is more:

9: Sitting upright
rotate your head right and left, gently
and notice how your nose moves from pointing to the front
to pointing to the side.
This is rotating your head.

Now: slightly tilt your head to the right
and the left
which means this:
when you tilt to the right, your right ear
goes closer to the floor
when you tilt to the left, your left ear
goes closer to the floor.
In both tilts your nose stays
pointing forward.

10: Practice the difference:
rotate your head right and left
tilt your head right and left

Go slowly and be gentle with your neck
and your nervous system

11: Now:
shift your weight to your left hip,
to the left side of your pelvis

and come back to the middle

and now
as you shift your weight to the left
alternate between tilting your head to the left
and tilting your head to the right

See if when you tilt your head to the right
as you shift your weight to the left side of your pelvis
if you can let your shoulders help a little
as the left shoulder comes up a little
and the right shoulder comes down

This is easier with pictures
and my digital camera is broken

desk trainer
above mentioned has a little cartoon guy to follow
oh well

so anyway

12. Now try the other side:
weight to the right side of your pelvis
and tilting your head
right and left,
letting your shoulders
and maybe even your ribs
help out with this

If confusing,
try desk trainer
or go slower
or give me a call
or buy the book:
Awareness Heals

Parenting, Dreams, Invitation to improvement and joy

Advice to parents:
Say nice things to your kids everyday.
Especially when they aren’t being wonderful.
Tell them you love them.
Tell them they are wonderful:
when they hate you
when they do poorly in school
when they “forget” to do their chores (and keep asking, just don’t nag
when they are unpopular
or confused

And, above all: talk to them.
Away from the television set.
Away from the computer games.
Just talk. Don’t give advice. Just talk.
Even better, outside together, enjoying nature together, and just talk.

---

Dreams last night:

Last night in the going
back
to sleep
a kind of half sleep
and dreams:
of a wolf/lion/skunk/bear
what was that creature
wondering even as I saw it
and a dancing with a cerebral palsy
man, by hugging from behind
the woman dancing with him
her pressed in between us
and I guide and heal and teach
his nervous system
as the three of us
dance

---

Invitation to Improvement and Joy

Let’s say: you have a soreness in your back or shoulders or neck as you move through life, and wouldn’t mind not only having that go away, but could enjoy learning how to function better from head to toe, from pelvis to ribs, from elbow to ear, from spine to sternum, from eye to brain?

In other words: are you game to become a more complete and aware and happy in your body and happy in your awareness person?

If this sort of improvement, about upgrading your nervous system, and rekindling your love of learning appeals to you, come on around and give yourself for awhile to this work, this Way of Conscious and Exploratory Movement.

Let’s say you want to play tennis better, or ski better, or golf with more ease and improvement and success. Again, are you willing to go inside and discover how you are and how you could be more, as this marvel of engineering, all these bones and muscles with a big brain on a planet of constant gravity and a body of two legs, and brain that loves to learn?

Good.


That’s my invitation for today.

Having a Wonderful Relationship, 13 ways

HOW TO HAVE A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP
1) Spend some time everyday together, in silence, holding each other’s hands, eyes closed and eyes opened, following the breathing and being present to touch and connection. Realize, that this is enough: to touch, breathe and be present to each other.

2) If the quarrel thing happens, find a watch or a timer. Take turns doing this: One person speaks for two minutes. The other person listens, only listens, no interrupting, following the breathing, no “thinking” of defense remarks. At the end of two minutes, the listener repeats back, as close to word for word, what the speaker just said. Then the listener asks the speaker if they missed anything. If so, the speaker repeats what they missed and they re-reflect that back. When the speaker is satisfied that all important aspects have been heard, it’s time for the switch. Now the listener becomes the speaker and talks for two minutes while the other listens, breathes, and gets ready to repeat back with full clarity.


3) Have a method of radical forgiveness. The Work of Byron Katie is excellent for this. ( Her website is thework.org; also see some of my essays on slowsonoma.com, particularly, Byron Katie and Relationships, July 05; and Loving your enemy, for your own sake, May 05). Or try this: if it’s more than three minutes old, why are you still holding onto it?


4) Spend time together outdoors. In the present of the present.

5) Sleep together naked every night. Touch is good, a food for our deepest levels.Discover soft and new and interesting ways of touching each other, not necesarily in a sexual way. Which is to say, be sensuous, and love the fact that you have someone to touch. This is a food for your soul and your fingers and your mind and your heart.


6) Learn to listen. Anytime your partner criticizes you, go inside and find where that is true. (See the essay: The Criticism Thing, August 2005)

7) Learn to be honest. Anytime you are critical of your partner, go inside and find out how that trait (selfish, not listening enough, not appreciating enough, etc,. etc.) is true of you, too.

8) Learn to taste the difference between an interpretation of the other ( you are…., you should….), and telling the truth ( I feel……, I want…..).

9) Learn to make requests that aren’t demands. Which means, learn to love your partner when they are true to themselves and say no. That means you don’t have to hold back asking because you won’t be afraid to hear , “No.” So, ask for what you want and be happy with any answer.

10) Love from freedom. Do not blame either your happiness nor your unhappiness on your partner.


11) Learn to tease in a way that is kind, fun and leads to laughing at yourself.

12) Compare and contrast, This is my mind attached to the story, “You should change.” And, This is my mind without attaching to the story, “You should change.”

13) Learn to hear every spoken or thought “You should….” or “You shouldn’t…” as an invitation to laugh at yourself.