NaNoWriMo over, whew!

Thanksgiving Day: it was better than
these pics appear.
By far.
and even that day, wrote my 3000 words.
The old Gurdjieff way:
take an aim.
Discover if you can do it,



Chris' word count
for National November Writing Month,
90,090

the month
of writing
3000 words
a day
for a novel
of sorts
called, Healing Your Life

is over

could crank out some more
words
but love
the symmetry of 90,090
so will call that the official count

now
to rewrite
and tie the many many
loose ends
together

al
al
la
la

Love in a Minor Key

yesterday
i motioned toward
a parenting
based
on
now
ness
and
listening

and to move on
to
getting
along
great
with your partner

in any moment
when you are upset
irritated
annoyed
or bored

just
(just!)
ask yourself:
am i conscious now

that's all

weird
that it's so easy

all it is
is that:
wake up to now

alll it is
is
enlightenment

la
la

so
relationship
is a spiritual path

but you knew that,
anyway,
didn't you?

love,
chris

Serenity and parenting

children like
to challenge our serenity

this pose
above can be one to regain
our serenity

and children
usually don't go out
to drive us crazy
until later,
maybe high school age
when they might
plot to drive us crazy

why would they possibly do that?

all those years we drove them
crazy:
revenge

this isn't a very cheery set of
ideas
is it

or is it:
old wounds,
fine.
and possibilities:
serenity
or going along with the
trouble

the work might
come in handy
when they are getting unruly

but basically
the old slow down
idea:
sit down
watch them

slow down
listen to them

take a breath
and then
follow the breathing
and wonder what
the world
is like
from their point of view

wonderful challenges
that would help us with any friend
or lover

and we can't escape the necessity
if they are our kids

well, actually, we can:
but we'll wish we hadn't

so
it's the same wonderful
story:
our being present
is the best present

in good times
or bad
happy
or sad
busy
or dull:

just to be there
with them
watching
listening
no books to read no TV to watch
no things to rush off to
forget preparing dinner even
for five minutes
just sit,
ask them to talk,

listen

Winter coming, what is love

dogwood at quarry hill

days get short
time indoors

we can talk
with people we
love
and
if we
really love
them,

listen to what
they have to
say

this is nice
when awake,
just letting their words
come
maybe for five minutes
or more
not saying anything

just listening,
not giving advice
just listening

not interrupting
just listening

following the breathing
being present

the present
of our presence

so much more
that all the stuff
we hide behind
in non present
present giving

la,
la

Pelvis and Head

this organism has four
legs

we usually only have two

the pelvis
transmits and rotates
and powers
all the stuff above
the legs

see how their pelvises
do that
even
though
they don't have to balance
in their particular configuration

our head
is designed to bring in information
to taste, smell
and hear
and
see

in any position,
if our neck is mobile
we can look right and left
easily

while our pelvis
supports us firmly
and intelligently in either sitting
or standing

so,
today's monday yoga:

take any posture:

notice what your pelvis is doing
arch and round a little your lower back
and discover if your pelvis is free
to move
and if
it is using the muscles the way
that will make the posture easiest

and then,
comfortable there

let your head rotate,
slowly
and easily
right
and left

and allow your eyes
to move
easily
and comfortably
in the opposite way
your head is moving

still aware of breathing
and pelvis
and feet
and gravity

easy neck
easy eyes
easy brain
smart brain
intelligent pelvis

the brain body yoga
game

enjoy

the game of love

someone smiles at you
you smile back

someone frowns at you
you smile back

someone yells at you
you listen:
what was true in what they said
what is the pain they aren't saying

you smile back

someone knows you are there
and cares
you smile back

someone doesn't know you are there
or barely
and cares only/ mainly about themselves
you remember
when that was you, too

and smile back

warm or cold, who is responsible?

when i am cold
i hide from
loving life fully

is this me
or is it the cold?

when i talk to people
sometimes
i am there
listening
excited to be present
to myself and to them

sometimes i have a message
i want to get across
sometimes i don't
"like" the person i'm with:
in these states:
i'm not present
not happy
not clear

this:
how to be warm
when
the cold
wants to take
over

my question
for the day:

love
chris

now yes now yes

the day is now
sun gone
night comng
cold

life is
good



the taste of evening
sleep with its
empy spaces
the bed with its warmth
the night
with its touching
and caresses
now
and then
the cold air
and the warm
blankets

the world
of horizontal

good

Rhanks giving

all the time
thanks

and we forget

and then we remember

doesn't it feel
so much
better

when
we laugh
and smile
at the people around us

and even better?
to be awake
to the moment,
the breath,
the skeleton

as we do this?

yes.

Playing and Stupor, parenting and waking up

essay today,
over at Wake Up Feldenkrais
on playing
as the boy
above is doing

playing
without a plan,
without copying,
without compulsion,
without efforting,
as a key
to learning as a lifelong
joy

and if we are parents:
what about this:
to watch play
encourage play
and rediscover
play
in our life

active play
not just paying to be entertained
or letting the tube do
it,
but real play
as we
invent
from within

amazing when
we re turn
to who
we really are

and that being
is now
and playful
and quiet
and serene
and creative
and inventive
and ......
alive

essay today
over at Tai Chi Yoga Health Weight Loss blog
on eating
as a path to
the happiness
of eating ourselves into a stupor
or
the happiness
of waking up
to the now

with mention of
our old friend Gurdjeiff
along the way

hmmm.

blue skies

frost last night
cold

blue sky
today

sweet

Lars and the Real Girl

Rush off to see
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL.
It comes on like just fun, and quirky, and an amusing trip
and ends up
deeply moving, and inspiring
to say nothing of psychologically profound.
And about: love, healing and community.
Transformation in the places
way outside our usual ruts.

Monday Yoga:

Sufi Yoga:

The Sufis
went inside
to find God

And God
was too big for words

But they had a lot of poems
about the thrill of God
the joy
the silliness
the everywhere ness of God
(doesn't everywhere ness sound easier to get to
than omnipresence??)

God
for Haffiz
was always laughing
at how seriously
we took our petty
concerns

in
Sufi yoga:
the accessing of our learning
and discovery
and joy
and playfulness
can get us back to
the God in us
who creates a world
of delight
when we let ourselves
be that way

what way?
go do a little slow yoga
and every pose
switch something
just a little
or a lot
and discover
who and what
the awareness
and balance and
inner unifcation
in you
is while
you do that


another way of looking at Sufi yoga:
Strength
Unification
Flexibility
Intelligence

Laughing Baby, fun link::::

Laughing Baby

life is good
we're going to a movie
first eat lunch in the sun

la
la

enough indoors

too much indoors
today

did finish
to 50,000 words
last night
for NaNoWriMo
and it was hard to go again
today
with lasts nights
superpush

and did it
anyway

now outside

la
la

Love is easy, or heard, or hard, or heart

you know it's like this:
someone snarls at you

and that's reality

you could have a story:
she/he shouldn't have snarled

too bad
a totally losing bet
for the
past to be different

okay:
so
reality is : he/she snarled

and then:

the blame thing:
you always snarl

the whining thing:
how come you so snarly?

the hate thing:
you suck when you snarl

the calm thing:
oh, a snarl

the amused thing:
ah, a snarl

the charmed thing:
you are so cute when you snarl

the love thing:
hi, i love you too
want to say what's going on

la
la
and there
we have it,
the snarl watcher's guide
to
love

so much to not do

sleep
sheep

if we wake to now
this breath
each breath is
a sweet
food

if we wake to now
each
click
clack of the computer keys
is a sweet
sound to
our ears

if we wake to now
the bones
hold us up
we find our skeleton
we find gravity
we play

in the moment
attention
awareness
gravity
breath
sound

and if that's not enough
light
pouring
in from the sun
a beautiful hydrogen bomb
93 million miles away

time to take a wak
and it's 8:20 in the morning
early by some ideas
late by others

and always now
the right time
to
be

to b
e

to bee
in
love
with
life

Wed Parenting and Love

What to do?
The kids will be kids
and they are obsessed
sometime with how they look
and what other people think
of them
and how they are going
to get into college
and what their parents
will think of them

and this feels like
a lot of pressure

which it is:

all this attention
on the outside

outside looks
and opinions
and approval
and possible
disapproval

and how bad can it get?

really bad,
we don't need to go there

and what's one easy sweet quick
way
out

the usual:
back to the present
now

paying attention
to them
as they are
not as should be
or they want to be

just good old Mr. Rogers stuff:
I love you just the way you
are

Pleasure, Ease, Awareness and Learning

to be at ease
is a sweetness
that we can access

and yet
often we are in "too much of a hurry,"
or are "in our habit,"
or are "doing what we always do."

if we always feel
good
happy
comfortable in our body
and thrilled with the new learning
in our life,
fine

otherwise,
come join me
for classes
on Mondays
and Wednesday
at noon, and 5:30 PM

this is Brain Work,
and ReVitalization Work,
pretending to be about our body

Go slowly
work easily
on a mat, usually,
on the floor
slow and profound
and being present:

side effects might include:
breathe better
better posture
walk and sit and run and dance better
creativity up
mood up
pleasure in ordinary activity up

and more,
at Benefits of Feldenkrais®,
rhymes with Paradise

Yoga for a Monday, Reverse Triko

this boy
is not afraid
to be himself

and so in yoga
sometimes
the whole fun
is to
just make a mess
of whatever
it is
"they" think
we should be doing
and
whatever we think
we SHOULD be going
and
whatever we THINK
WE SHOULD be doing

and just fool around

triangle, Trikonasa
is kind of a pain in the ass pose
anyway.

like this,
again the words are
harder than monkey see,
monkey do,
too bad
live with it:

1. stand with feet apart and point one foot a direction
you'll call forward
to make life simple we'll say R, right foot, is forward
face that way.
L, left foot, is behind and in a line with R heel.
R heel bisects middle of L foot

2. raise arms up to shoulder height,
facing forward

3.play,
rotate arms to face the direction your belly is facing
(left)
and rotate your arms to face the other direction
(around the the right)
have fun with this.

4. rest.

5. arms up again, rotate arms so R arm forward, L arm back, keep spine
straight, and tilt at the waist your whole torso forward
R arm will go down by R leg
L arm will come up in air
pointed to Up, up, up

look up at the up hand

6. Have some fun
look up at the up hand
and have eyes goes down,
and look down at feet with nose
and have eyes come up.
then eyes and nose toward up hand

notice other stuff: pelvis, ribs, feet
bend knees
unbend knees, explore

are you breathing???

7. rest

8. the same position, R foot forward, L back,
heel of R in line with mid of L,
rotate arms so L arm is foward direction same as R foot,
L arm back
tilt down at waist
R arm up
L arm down
spine straightish
head looking up at up hand

play with eyes and head
as above

9., play with triangle and reverse triagnle:
once arms one way,
once the other
sometimes head and eyes follow up hand
sometimes they go opposite

horse
around

breathe

have fun

Sunday in the Days of Our Lives

rain yesterday
sun today

"lots to do"
or
lots "to do"
today

almost tired
"thinking" about
it

and to come back
to sensing
and now

one breath
at a time
and
there is
just
this "to do"

be
alive
and
know
i am
we are
alive

Wet Saturday and it's always...

more Marlie pics at marvelousmarlie.blogspot.com

wet saturday and it's always...

now

one now:
cold feet
and long time at the desk
typing

another now:
bottom on chair

or:
window
up there
if i raise eyes:
more light

or:
feet on floor,
cold or not cold
gravity
bone
reality


and hey,
now i can
follow my breathing
and the feet
are part
of the whole
bodymindbrainme

what is me??

what is you??

same?
different?
one?
Many?
any
way...

this body thing
some say
body not real
hmmm

i like sensing
this body thing
real or not

brings me
home to
now
which is
real
or not real

real as experience
yes

and real as
a word
concept
nonsense
or not

as a an idea

ideas can lead
us to freedom
or slavery

chose
freedom

love

and

connection to nature

big nature: rain
clouds,
hidden sun,
earth,
growing
trees

small earth:
our real or unreal bodies:
hearts
blood
minds
brains
hands
feet
hot
or cold
it's life

i am
when
i know
i am

love
chris

Too many words

National November Writing Month
continues,
keeping at my 3000 words a day
humph,
getting tired
and exhilirated
all at once

and life isn't words
they can just
point us
out of
the messes
we get into
with our words

toward a hug
or a sunset
or a walk
or a kiss
or a swim
or a pleasant time
in a garden,
puttering
or on a bench

and all the words
to help persuade
us to stop ruining our world,
which has such amazing
grace and balance
as a natural system
and then we have all our roads
and buildings and
machines
all these creatures
who don't poop
food for other creatures
(almost the definition of
natural, weirdly enough:
this quality of pooping out
foor that is useful to some other
species,
bird poop for the soil
and the seed
bear poop
the same,
plant poop
is the oxygen we breathe
our poop
could be of great use
except tons of chemicals
and medical poisons,
and radioactives in it,

but what is the poop
of a car factory?
cars.
and how do they feed the earth?

back to
the simple
walking
talking
reading
writing

even these computers
who will eat them
when we are done with them
how to keep a cycle going
and not an expanding and hidden junkyard

earth as paradise:
the garden principal

earth as junkyard
the stuff principal

oh, well
what do do

something at community center
tomorrow or
next supposed to help us out

who knows

anyway,
at 27.046 words
a lot of stuff
and maybe a little wisdom
and good story
is coming along

whole idea of so many words
in one month:
not enough time
to get too uptight and critical with ourselves

and guess
what:

a great break from writing
and neglecting our hereandnow body
and being in the head
is

desk trainer

as i say at the bottom of my emails

For happier neck, back, hands,
shoulders, brains
try
DESKTRAINER via
Try Desk Trainer, free lesson

ciao
chris

Almost surprise

Marlie's party. More pics at MarvelousMarlie.blogspot.com


Marlie's party
an almost surprise
last Saturday

sweet people
gorgeous weather

some characters
actually
kinda all
characters

and that's sign
of life
well lived
to become
more distinct
and your own
you
as you grow
"older"

and in the growing
lots of chances
to get smarter
and more agile
in the brain
and body

and you can
read that at me
feldy blog
or
take
a peak at
Feldie Guild site


Word Count:
24,254

Parenting, and Play

play is how children learn
play is how
we
all
no matter how old
connect with the joy
of discovery
and being alive

sports
are usually a pale
and overly stident aspect of play

if your child can invent games
in the mud
and at the creek
and with a ball
and with a basketball
and with a rock
and with an acorn

better off
i'd say
than all this organized
stuff

and yes
yes
soccer
is wonderful
and basketball
and playing the piano

and still
play
that is made up
and unsupervised
and doesn't have the time stamp
and the pressure competition
stamp
and doesn't have the endless
chauffering stamp:

just outside
with a couple other kids
or by themselves:

that might very well
be the best sort



word count: 21,006
NaNoWriMo
la
la

Awake n Ready

this was the theme song
at
ananda:
awake and ready

today
i lost money
in the stock
market
by selling stuff
yesterday
that went up today

and i let it bum
me out

la la
this isn't very enlightened
is it?

Monday yoga learning: One foot and the other: Balance

1.slight flaw
in yesterday's diatribe:

bugs

lots of bugs
in park
doing yoga
today

there is a reason for the
saying
that something
"bugs" you

still: if you are going to go
wild
i guess bugs
are one price
you pay

better than death

2. NaNoWriMo pals
the site down
again
too many of us
my word count is too
high to reveal,
but is a wild ride,
don't have day job
all the offerings in here
want clients to come

and the lessons on Monday
and the lessons
in the WakeUp Feldenkrais blog,
under the label movement lessons
give lots and lots
of things to do
that activate your brain
give a welcome distraction to writing
and the critical or weary voices,
and keep you thinking at
the same time
just not thinking in words
and your body/brain/mind unity
will feel better

also the monday yoga things
might be nice
writer's block unblockers

good luck

3. now
to Monday yoga:

this is a no picture
day
monkey see monkey do
is a lower level
than hearing
or reading
and figuring that to the real world:

so,
here
we go:

Balance

BALANCE

Balance

1. Stand somewhere beautiful.
Look ahead, sense down, listen to feet and eyes and head.
Shift weight to the right foot, right heel.
Slowly.
Notice what happens in breathing as go to right,
and come back to middle.
Slowly.
Rest.

2. Do the above and bring weight to right heel.
Again, watch, listen to breathing. Going and coming back.

3. Do these two to the left.

4. Rest between all. Walk around, sit, lie down.
whatever.

5. Cross Right foot over left, i.e.
in front of and a bit to the left of left foot.
Now, shift weight right and left,
with the feet on the opposite than usual side.
slowly.
watch breathing.
rest.

6. Do this and keep weight mainly on the heels.

7. Do this and keep your head in the middle, so pelvis/ butt
goes side to side
and weight shifts,
and your head stays in the middle.

8. Now, like this:
as you shift weight to your right foot, which is over to your left,
let your head flop to the right,
as in right ear toward right shoulder,
gentle,
not rotating neck,
tilting, easy does it
slow and follow breathing

9. As you shift weight to the left foot, which is on your right,
let your left ear tilt down easily and
sweetly
toward your left shoulder.
Notice breathing.
Weight mainly on heels.

10. Do this other feet around,
if you are so inclined.

11. Go back to beginning,
shift weight left and right,
now keeping head more or less in the middle
and weight more or less on your heels
and noticing
and being calm in
your breathing.

ciao
chris

For survival, read ferns not books

Good movie
out and about
sonoma,
of course,
getting it a bit later

and fine
by me

called: Into the Wild

young man,
full of hot and hairy fire
off to test himself
see the world

pissed at parents
fine
wants to be a man
fine
see the world
fine
get with nature
fine

twisted a bit
by parents
so what,
who isn't,
and worked up about the mes
of civilzation
fine

likes to work
good
likes people
to a point
good,
and a bit sad,
and

then off to Alaska
and instad of getting to
know the land
got lost
in his books

and starved to death
sleeping indoors.
not laying his head body bones
down each day and night
in the grass
and ferns
and weeds
and letting them
teach him
what to eat
what not

instead of
honest wet
dampness and stars all night
hiding away in
a tin box,
dumb ass,
"escaping" from civilization
and then putting himelf
to jail

not exploring to find
a bridge
a mile and a half up from his place
coulda got him over the river
he let his mind
tell him was trapping
him

shoulda had the place,
the land,
wild and free
and big
explored
for blackberries
and birds
and grubs ten
miles in every direction

shoulda listened
to dreams
and birds
and sky
and earth spirits:
eat this,
don't eat that
come this way,
not that,
sleep now
quiet now
shout now
rest now
run now
tune in to
the wisdom
of the world

looking to books
to teach him
the beneath books
wisdom
and it's all around
him

stay home
and bask
in the library
or go to the wild
and listen to the wild

can't be word
caught and
free
at the same time

even here
on the computer
unless words
wake up the place
beyond
and underneat the words

same old
stuck
stuff

anyway:
boy of the wild,
into the wild
almost

"almost" doesn't cut it

died in the spring
green spring
food all around


fine ideas
and then
didn't learn
from the wild
just went there
and died
dumb asshole

oh, well,
great movie
i'm going to see it again

nano nano NaNoWriMo.orgcontinues
roaring,
unthinking
mainly dialogue
all i know of therapy
and this and that
a lot
on schedule to get to 50,000
by day fifteen
and then double up by day thirty
fun, crazy,
some days i say i can't
and then
pull me
out with
the work
or the mornig pages
or
do feldenkrais
and get the thinking going
without words
it's so great
and so on

love
to anyone
who visits

and even better:
a hint:
now
is always
here

and if words
talk about it
not now
anymore

weird
wild

into that wild
always available

Saturday the beautiful, M's b-day and so on

if someone is in our life
and we are talking to them
and we know we are talking to
them
and we know they are
sort of listening to us
and sort of thinking what to say
and sort of lost in whatever whatever
we are awake
and in conversation

this is hard,
and in a dream
last night
i was explaining the Gurdjieff
idea of remembering ourselves
to a group
of people
and was remembering myself
as i did it.

amazingly high
feeling

and now,
for the
glories of today:

Marlie had party at garden
semi surprise
and very nice.
see her almost blog; MarvelousMarlie.blogspot.com

and National Writing Month
continues:

today's excerpt:

“And if you kill yourself, then I’m a failure, so we can have something in common. Would you like me better if I were a failure.”

Jasper grins. Twenty five. Wound up. Rich kid out on his own. Confused as hell. Pissed about the poverty of the spirit that seemed central to all the jobs that wanted him. Spoiled a bit, parents paying for therapy. Poor little rich boy with the usual lack of love and self confidence of those who haven’t had to overcome real obstacles.

“Yeah. I’d like you a lot better if you were a failure, too.”

“Okay. I am a failure.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“My boyfriend just went off with another woman after I discovered them making out together in a park that he knows is practically my favorite place in the world.”

He looks at her. She is sad. A little. Not enough. But still. That is kind of a failure. “How long were you together?”

“Five years.”

“Okay. That counts as a failure.”

“Feel better?”

“Actually. Not really. But I like you more.”

“I’ll try to fail more often.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Okay. I’ll try to learn from my mistakes.”

“What mistakes did you make with him?”

“I didn’t listen to his silences and learn that they were unhappy and not just private.”

Jasper gets scared. This woman is smart. He doesn’t really hate her. He desperately wants her to like him, no, love him, why couldn’t he have had a mother with sensitivity and intelligence, or at least one of the two. A drinker and a stinker and someone who’s idea of thinking was to call the Democrats “socialists.” What a stupid bitch.

“I hate my mother.”

“So do I,” says Karen, somehow wanting to confuse Jasper’s poor me, little child bereft and alone act.

“You hate my mother without even knowing her. Because she was so mean to me?”

“Mean Mom. ‘Mean’ means, didn’t do what I wanted. No, your Mom is fine until proven guilty. Mine was an insensitive cow. For a couple of minutes I’ll join in your indulgence and hate her.”

“A couple of minutes? I’ve hated my Mom for years.”

“And that’s got her to shape up? The way killing her will.”

“You are going too fast.”

“Killing yourself punishes her. She feels bad that she has failed with you. It bothers her until the stupid shit that always diverted her from paying real attention to you once more diverts her and she is back into lala land.”

“She is from L.A.”

“Okay. I’ll hate her, too. Does one good to hate all the insensitive Moms in L.A.”

“That’s a lot of Moms,” says Jasper, almost with humor. Gallows humor is always the first step. No, is a crucial first step to finding a philosophy of living in a fucked up, narcissistic, lopsided and shitholes world.

Is that really what she thinks the world is????

Friday to You, Friday to Me

the sun came
out
and
big baby that I am
i am happier
now that
i am
warmer

National November Writing Month
continues,
la, la
another 3000 words

Someone else doing this
and her reasons it's a useful
deal
at Klosekraft nyc blogchick

a piece of today's

Therapy as hints and suggestions for a little shift here, a little option there. Milton Erickson sending people on hikes up Squaw Peak. To get a larger view. To use their big muscles. The breathe real air and connect with Earth.

“When’s the last time you been to the Overlook Hike, Ronnie?”

“Do I look like I need a camp counselor?”

She waits. The smart ass answer is, ‘Yes,’ and she’s wondering what the answer will be if she slows down, waits and really looks.

Slow down she tells herself.

Slow down, she tells him, inside. Who knows if he is listening. It would be wonderful if he would listen to the quiet secret voice she sends out. Sometimes to clients. Sometimes to friends. Sometimes to troubled and needy folks around the world.

Soldiers in Iraq. Iraqis in Iraq. Women if Africa and the rough cities of America. Hungry children. Species on the verge of extinction, having no idea that they are their kind are about to be the last.

A wish for peace and fairness in the world sweeps over her.

“You look worried and afraid, Ronnie. What can you tell me about what you’d like to have happen today.”

“I want a better Elaine.”

“Can’t do.”

“I want her to shut up with her criticism and blaming and complaining.”

“Can’t do.”

“What the hell can you do?”

Day of the Dead

Every day
some die
some are born

every breath
we are there
or we are not

life
the miracle
why are we so dumb
that sometimes
only death
can
wake us up?


started National November Writing Month
today

last night:
didn't think i could do it
this morning:
thought the same
and then
three pages
and a bit more
testing ideas
and whatnot
and got some clarity:

did 3000 words today,
starts like this:
HUSBAND TROUBLE

“Hello.”
“Hello, yourself.”
“I need help.”
“How would that help look, Elaine?”
“My husband would be nicer?”
“That’s a question or a statement?” asks Karen. Karen’s “office,” the back porch of her house, in nice weather. It was fall, one of those warm Indian summer days in Northern California with the clear skies, and balmy sun that reminded you of spring.
“I want to have a happier marriage. Ronnie doesn’t treat me very well. He’s always gone. And when he’s home he ignores me, or is cranky with me, or critical.”
Karen wonders: an affair, or is he just a dick. Speaking of which, her mate, Phil was….Stop, Karen, you are being paid to pay attention, not to meander.
“Tell me about the cranky part.”
“I don’t like him when he’s cranky. I want to cry. Or scream.”
“Do you ever scream?”
“All the time. I’m a bitch around him, Karen. That’s what I call you, isn’t it?” Karen nods. “He brings out the worst in me. Honestly, I can see why he never comes home, because as soon as he does I start in on him.”
“So he’s not the only cranky one?”
Elaine laughs. Mid-thirties. More dressed up than usual. Who was she trying to impress? This therapist? Herself? Show herself that she was still an attractive woman even though Ronnie didn’t seem to think so. Why is she wasting her time talking about Ronnie. Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, the asshole, all she ever does is think about how mad he makes her, and here she is talking about him. But maybe that’s what therapy is all about. what is therapy all about? Feeling better. She wants to feel better.
“I want to feel better.”
Karen nods. Wouldn’t we all, she thinks.



want more
buy the book
when it's done

ciao
chris